Quite difficult news for any person is parting with a beloved partner. Why did this happen? Each ex-couple will name their reasons. Someone broke up because feelings have cooled down. Someone broke up because of a major quarrel. Someone was caught in, so there was a gap. On the outer level, people separate. However, love can remain in the hearts, which does not cool down just because someone cheated, deceived, became ugly or fell out of love. In such a situation, it becomes difficult to forget the partner you love, but it is no longer mutual.
For any reader of a psychological help site, the site would be a blow to the need to part with a partner. Even if he is not very loved, they are already used to him. If a person is not himself the initiator of a break in relations, then it is difficult for him to part with a partner. The difficulty even arises when a person was forced to break the alliance with a partner because of his betrayal, because the right things were done on the external level, but love did not subside from this in the heart.
Both men and women suffer from breakups. Everyone experiences a breakup in their own way. It is good only for that person who does not love, has already fallen out of love or has been preparing for a long time to leave. Everyone else suffers anyway.
To quickly forget the former partner, a person is given a lot of advice. We will not say that there are effective and inefficient methods, since everything is individual. It is better to try everything that will help rid the heart of unnecessary love. Consider all the possible tips and rules for forgetting next.
Usually a person is offered the following in an effort to forget his beloved partner:
- Start meeting new people.
- Start to be interested in something new or old.
- Immerse yourself in work or study.
- Walk more.
- Fill your life with new impressions and images.
- Attend trainings on self-improvement and balancing your psyche, for example, “How to become happy?” or “How can I gain confidence in myself?”.
Someone suggests not to fight with your own feelings at all. The more you try to ignore or forget them, the more they take root and hurt the soul. It is better to suffer, get angry, cry until the heart gets tired and calms down, which happens, of course, over time.
But the surest option for forgetting a loved one is time. Over time, everything is forgotten, even the most painful and unpleasant. One has only to wait and try to devote as little time as possible to unpleasant memories. Continue to live as it turns out, and over time, unnecessary thoughts and experiences will definitely pass. Sometimes years pass when love is forgotten. But this is all individual.
How does it stop you from forgetting the person you love?
What prevents you from letting go of relationships in the past? You, some time has passed, and you still can’t forget what once was. Why is this happening?
The root cause that a person cannot let go of anything in the past and begin new life, is the unwillingness to realize that the past cannot be returned. Many people, having broken up relationships with partners, suffer for a long time just because they do not want to accept the fact that a love union does not exist. They constantly scroll in their memory how the relationship existed, how they diverged and converged with partners, and therefore continue to think further that nothing is over yet. At any moment, he / she can knock on the door or the name of a loved one will be displayed on the phone, who will ask for forgiveness and offer to renew the relationship.
It is the unwillingness to accept reality - the relationship has fallen apart - that leads to the constant expectation of what can still be restored. Expectations in the depths of your soul about the return of a loved one make you continue to keep in mind what was between you, remember all the addictions and desires of your partner.
Don't dwell on past relationships. Be aware of their absence. You broke up with your loved one, which means you can forget about what was connected with him. Do not expect and do not expect that they will return to you with a desire to renew the relationship. Better stop thinking about the past, start thinking about the present life when you are alone, and about the future (how will you achieve happiness on your own?). ahead whole life that you have not yet seen and lived. You will have many acquaintances with other people with whom you can build love relationship. All this will allow you to quickly forget about past relationships.
If you accept the fact that you were abandoned (which has happened and will continue to happen despite the desire to love forever), and get rid of the hope of returning the relationship, then the process of forgetting a loved one will accelerate. Psychologists give such recommendations:
- Take care of your health and appearance. Surely something was launched: either you got fat, or you need to get your teeth fixed, or go in for sports. Whatever it was, but put yourself in order to please yourself.
- Start living a new life. Do something for yourself free time. Let these activities or people be interesting to you, which will help in starting a new life.
- Get rid of things that remind you of your ex. It is advisable to throw them away altogether. However, if you use something, then at least do not remember where this thing came from. But the photos are better either removed or eliminated.
- Change the environment. After being alone for a while, pull yourself out of given state. Go where it will be interesting. Go where you have never been and would like to be. New impressions, people and emotions will fill your thoughts, gradually crowding out memories of the past.
- Make a promise to yourself to get through this stage with dignity. It will be difficult at first, but at least do not let yourself down. Support, encourage, please yourself with something to help you through an unpleasant period.
If you can not cope on your own, then you should not ignore the help of a specialist - a psychologist. He will listen, find the reason for your obsession, offer options for getting rid of love - isn't that what you want?
Let's be honest with ourselves. If you say that you love and want to forget, at the same time you are looking for meetings with your ex-partner in every possible way, go to his page on the social network, do not erase the phone number in the hope that your beloved (beloved) will call, then you are deceiving yourself. Either you do everything to forget, or you continue to love and hope. Be honest about your desires so that you don’t waste time on unnecessary actions that, in a contradictory situation, simply will not give a result.
Anyone who really wants to forget about their love is recommended:
- Make yourself the most valuable person for yourself. After all, while you love, you put your loved one above yourself. It's time to switch places: value yourself more than anyone else. Realize your own value!
- See your partner's flaws. He's not that perfect. As long as you love, you think that this person is the most suitable for you. Actually it is not. In any person there are many shortcomings, you just don’t want to notice them. And the most important drawback of your ex-partner is that he does not love you, betrayed, deceived, abandoned you.
- Believe in your happy future. Start dreaming. Imagine a future where you are happy, but without a former partner. It is not in your future. You are surrounded by other people, among whom there is a loved one with whom you have not yet met. Believe that everything will be fine with you - only this faith must be real.
How to forget the person you love, but he does not have you?
In an effort to forget the person you love, but he does not love you, people often make two main mistakes. Trying in an intuitive way, mixed with a stereotypical model of behavior in such situations, to forget about an unformed union, a person is not only trying to overcome what cannot be destroyed, but also to force his own memory to suddenly stop remembering those events that happened to him.
What kind of people make mistakes in an effort to let go of relationships in the past?
- The first mistake is mixing anger and love. Anger is a natural human reaction to the breakup of a relationship. He is upset that the desired union has collapsed, and plans for the future may never come true. And here a person begins to combine two completely opposite feelings - love and anger. The person he loves begins to hate. He blames, sets himself up for the fact that the partner is not worthy of his love. In other words, he is trying to turn his love into hate in order to release the "enemy" (ex-lover) into the past.
But where have you seen that a person can overcome his own feelings? You can live with feelings, you can put up with them or just survive. But never did a person get rid of what he fiercely fought. While you are struggling with something, you are paying a lot of attention to it. And how can you forget about something if you constantly remember it?
- The second mistake is starting a new relationship quickly. Many people say: "The wedge is knocked out with a wedge." But they forget one thing. It is really possible to forget past relationships and a former partner, if only a new relationship is started with a partner who is really interested and who is mutually loved. Often, hasty new relationships are an escape that only exacerbates the pain of the person himself. The fact is that an individual “running from past relationships” transfers his feelings, experiences and emotions to a new partner. It is as if he has been meeting with him for a long time, demanding from him love, affection and the same plans for the future that were built in the last union. A person is trying to end the past relationship in the present. But in this case, only one end is possible - the rupture of another union.
You should not be mistaken and run somewhere in an effort to let go of relationships in the past. Often you just need to wait and experience the feelings that you have left. This may take several months.
However, it is this time that will give you the opportunity not only to calm down and let go of the past, but also to review your own mistakes, correct them and start a new relationship only with those with whom they will not end quickly and tragically.
Outcome
It is quite possible to forget the person with whom you are in love, but he is not in you, if you stop shedding tears and feeling sorry for yourself. You should start living after you said goodbye to your ex-partner. We felt sad for a couple of days, and now continue to live on, because not a single person is worthy of others suffering and losing their vital energy because of him. Perhaps it's good that you broke up, because this person could not make you happy.
Surely, each of us knows what a breakup is and how painful it is to experience a breakup. Many begin to “bite themselves” and blame themselves for the breakup. Others think about the reasons. And others are looking for a way how to quickly forget a loved one and not think about him.
Unfortunately, psychology does not know absolutely all the methods and ways to get rid of your thoughts about a person who has been loved for so long. After all, experiences and feelings are purely individual. Therefore, everyone should choose the best way for themselves. Psychologists know only universal methods.
- Get an unusual manicure in the salon.
- Refresh your hair color or even change your haircut.
- Time to pamper yourself with spa treatments.
- Watch a funny comedy with your friends.
The main thing to remember is that there are not many pleasant moments. By following these tips, you will stop thinking about your ex-lover. At the same time, you will spend time not on tears that will not help in any way, but on enjoying a bright, interesting life.
Often, people suffering from breakups search intensively for various methods to forget the person they still love. Of course, it is foolish to even think that you can forget your loved one in a few days.
The life experience of many people who have survived a breakup states that waiting is one of the effective ways. After all, all negative memories will disappear over time. Although rather, you yourself will change your attitude towards them. And life will return to its former active turn.
Many desperate, positive people in life forget their seemingly recently loved ones after a few weeks. The only way they used was to diversify their lives with rich bright events, while receiving extremely positive emotions. 
One of the very effective ways is to remember all the negative traits of the former lover.
Of course, during meetings, you perceive a person only from the positive side. Probably, everyone is even able to idealize to a certain extent his beloved, not paying attention to his negative sides.
If, after parting, you continue to mentally live only with good memories of a person, then you are unlikely to be able to quickly forget him. Surely, while spending time together, you noticed negative behavioral moments or when your lover was talking, but you tried to “turn a blind eye” to this. However, as soon as you start remembering all the unpleasant moments, you can completely think about how you could / could meet this person at all. Psychologists even recommend writing down all the unpleasant moments and features on paper. So, by concentrating on a negative view of a former lover, you can significantly influence your future attitude towards him.
Shopping will help you quickly forget your loved one and restore the harmony of your soul. Undoubtedly, every woman is happy with a new purchase, updating her wardrobe. Even if you did not plan to spend your money on buying things, then at least a small bright accessory is simply a must-buy. After all, the purpose of shopping is not to acquire another outfit, but to get pleasant emotions from shopping. By the way, you can immediately learn about new trends and try them on. 
Also treat the breakup as another lesson in your life. And as Dale Carnegie said: “If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.” Therefore, each lesson is followed by new opportunity or meeting the person you need. After all, fate itself "excludes" unnecessary people in our lives. Maybe parting - time sums up. Ask yourself the question: “what lesson will I learn from past relationships” or “what good did this person give me.”
How to quickly forget a loved one conspiracy
If a person is not helped by universal methods that can be implemented by himself, then he often resorts to rituals.
To perform the ritual, you should collect lemon balm leaves and go to a water source, for example, to a spring. Sit by the water, think about the pain you've been hurt. Lemon balm leaves are a reflection of your shed tears. Slowly and boldly throw one leaf of lemon balm into the water and imagine that the water is already taking away all your suffering. After that, wash yourself with water from the spring and go home. 
Hello dear readers! Relationship breakdown, for both women and men, never goes unnoticed. Pain, suffering, depression, regret, stress are the feelings that everyone has to experience after parting forever with the person you love. Many begin to see the world exclusively in dark colors, avoid communication with other people, abandon hobbies, in the worst case, quit their jobs and start taking alcoholic beverages, trying to erase their ex or former lover from their memory. However, this usually does not help. Suffering and falling into depression, you will not return the one you love, moreover, you can easily ruin your own life completely. Today I will tell you how to forget a loved one, three simple steps that you need to take so that the world sparkles with bright colors again and joy returns to your life.
Getting rid of the past
Break up with everything that connected you with your loved one, that reminds you of him. Delete the number from your mobile phone so that you don’t have the desire to call and stir up a storm of emotions and feelings again, delete it from friends on social networks. A very important note: delete and no longer visit the page, constantly checking for new photos, statuses and online time. Gather courage and throw away all your common photos, gifts that were given to you by your soulmate, or, in extreme cases, put them in a box and send them to the far corner of the closet or in the attic. You can also donate things to those who need them. A teddy bear, even if you like it, will be very happy with the neighbor's first-grader girl, donated books can be donated to the library ...
For the first time after parting, do not visit places where you have often been together. The first kiss happened in this park, and here on the embankment you walked all night until morning and counted the stars ... Memories will come to life with renewed vigor and bring suffering. Therefore, change your usual routes and visit new places. It is quite possible that this is where you will meet your new love.
Here's another one good method, tested by many people who suffer from unsuccessful relationships and want to remember their passion less often. Write a list of negative qualities in your significant other that annoyed you. Include everything down to the smallest detail and re-read during the next bouts of the blues. The effect is guaranteed.
Do not start conversations about the person you are still attracted to with sympathetic colleagues or acquaintances. Most often, people love to gossip, and they don’t care about your feelings. If you want to talk about painful things, open your soul to the best friend or parents who will certainly sympathize and be able to give good advice and not secretly gloat or pass gossip about you.
In order to stop thinking about a loved one who betrayed even if you see him every day, you need to pay attention to the advice of psychologists who recommend that you should not:
- To entertain oneself with hopes and build illusions that the chosen one or the chosen one will understand their mistakes, repent and return;
- Humiliate yourself and ask for forgiveness if you know for sure that the relationship has exhausted itself;
- Look for meetings or call to re-find the relationship;
- Demand to pick up their things, the person will do it himself;
- Find out the details of his new life through social networks, mutual acquaintances or spying under the windows of the house;
- Come up with cunning plans on how to spoil the new relationship of your former chosen one or chosen one;
- Spread gossip about this person;
- Trying to forget about the relationship by using alcohol, drugs, cigarettes;
- Throwing yourself into the maelstrom of random love affairs, you will not achieve anything with this, except for an even deeper spiritual wound;
- Constantly being alone, listening to sad music and feeling sorry for yourself.
We radically change ourselves and our own lives
Even after doing all of the above, many people cannot get rid of their former feelings. But this was only the first step towards a new happy life. What else needs to be done to understand how to forget the person you love, but he doesn’t have you? Having destroyed the reasons for the memories of him, you need to change yourself. How exactly?
- Some people stop caring about their appearance after a breakup. But it is at this moment that you should be more attractive than ever. Gain courage and change your hairstyle, dye your hair a different color, get a tattoo that you have long dreamed of. Life will start to change better side once you start improving yourself.
- Change the style of clothing, buy a new desired wardrobe item or accessory that will give you confidence in your own attractiveness.
- Sign up for Gym to tidy up the figure and get rid of depression.
- Find a new hobby, take a driving course, learn a new foreign language. By doing this, you will be a little distracted from sad thoughts and will be able to acquire new skills or knowledge.
- Travel to a country that you have long dreamed of visiting. Travel is one of the best means to heal emotional wounds and meet new interesting people.
Go to university or find new job. Favorite activity perfectly distracts from gloomy thoughts about the past. In addition, you can meet like-minded people.
Change your place of residence or move to the other side of the city, if you have such an opportunity, to completely change the situation.
Reconnect with old friends and people you care about more often.
Take a closer look, perhaps in your environment there is a person who is even worse off than you. By helping and supporting him, you will slowly begin to forget about your pain.
New love
If you listened to these tips, you will surely change in positive side both externally and internally. Your situation no longer seems to you as hopeless as it used to be. Now is the time to start the last and most exciting step... In order to quickly forget a person, you need to find a replacement for him. Of course, some may say that they can't think of anyone other than their ex-partner. But there is no point in moping and dwelling in the past all the time. It's time to start a new relationship with a person who will treat you with due respect, care, attention, that is, truly love you. Strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger or social media stranger. networks, give a chance to a colleague at work, perhaps your friends will set you up with a new love. The main thing is not to withdraw into yourself and be ready for cardinal changes in your life, and soon they will come.
Having met your soul mate, listen to some useful tips:
- Be open to new relationships;
- Never compare him or her to a former partner;
- Try to avoid places where you used to be with your past love so that the memories of those relationships no longer return to you;
- Try to avoid the mistakes you made in past relationships. You had time to analyze everything in detail and draw certain conclusions;
- Do not tell your current passion about past suffering.
I hope that you can let go of your past love and start a new life, much better than the old one. And having met him or her on the street, perhaps with a new chosen one or chosen one, you will simply smile and mentally wish happiness. Always yours, old ladies' man Pantelei.
As always, an interesting video on the topic. Do not miss!
Most often, when one has already made plans for his separate life for himself, and for the second, a break in relations becomes an unexpected blow. A so-called “grief syndrome” may arise, which dulls feelings and protects from the colors of life for a long time. Is there an answer to the question: how to forget a person with whom we will never be together, whether to listen to the advice of a psychologist?
How to survive a breakup and at the same time not cross out everything beautiful and bright that was in your past relationship, make your own personal experience with their wealth, and not with a heavy load? Can the pain of separation help you discover your strength and experience the joy of meeting a new person?
“If you want to forget, forget ...”, or how to forget a person with whom you will never be together again
What happened yesterday? How to remember? How to remember?! Ahh, I remember! Bliiiin! How to forget? How to forget?!
Research psychologists
According to research, the process of experiencing separation can last from 3 months to 3 years, it all depends on the individual.Inability to cope with psychological trauma can lead to nervous breakdowns, and in the future - to the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.
In order to cope with how to forget a person with whom you will never be together, there are advice from psychologists that offer a universal and fairly effective scheme for overcoming the consequences of parting.
Psychologists distinguish three phases, in turn subdivided into 6 stages, which any person goes through when going through a breakup, regardless of its reasons.
1. Revision phase
The initial phase is divided into 3-4 stages:- denials;
- expressions of feelings;
- after parting;
- stages of dialogue and bargaining.
Denial of the reality of the gap is associated with such emotional manifestations as avoidance, misunderstanding, self-pity. Denial has several options. You can deny the end of the relationship in whole or in part, or you can devalue them, consoling yourself that nothing terrible happened. There is a feeling of understatement, I want to write and continue some unfinished conversation. The person continues to waste energy on false hopes and maintaining non-existent relationships.
For a successful transition to the next level, you need to stop all attempts to return a person and give up hope for his return. Otherwise, you can be stuck in a state of denial for many months and years. Psychologists consider it normal if the stage of denial passes in 3-5 weeks, but it can take up to a year and a half, depending on the mentality and character.
If there is no one to say:
"- Do you remember?"
There is nothing left but to forget.
Valentin Domil
Recognize the right of a loved one to be free
Do not search social networks for information about the former, do not find out through friends how he is doing. Talk about him and your relationship as little as possible, and in general, try to think as little as possible about everything that can upset you.No matter how the period of denial proceeds, sooner or later it will move into the stage of expression of feelings, in which irritability, anger, anxiety and shame come to the fore. At this point, people tend to begin to feel the reality of what is happening. They wonder how to forget a person with whom they will never be together, they seek the advice of a psychologist and very vividly experience all the negative emotions associated with this.
Resentment and guilt, directed both at the culprit of the breakup and at oneself, self-pity, blaming the person who left, searching for the reasons that led to the break, and as a result, meaningless self-digging are also manifestations of the stage of expressing feelings.
At this point, there is no point in holding yourself back. If an internal ban on aggression is turned on, and the loss is not mourned, then a person can live at this stage all his life. This stage is very important in order to subsequently be able to understand yourself and the situation.
In order not to get completely confused in the storm that will be happening in the soul, you can try to write him a “letter” listing all the claims and unspoken grievances. This well-known technique of psychology, which allows you to let go of the past and start living in the present, helps to look at the situation objectively, not to interpret what is happening and not to finish the situation. When writing a letter, it is important to note the feelings that this or that memory evokes.
At the same time, it is not necessary to send it, but it can be destroyed immediately after writing. Breathing practices such as grounding and centering also help you focus and achieve calmness.
After that, the stage of dialogue and bargaining begins, when you can set yourself a time interval and conditions when it is still possible to resume relations.
The most important thing here is not to relax and not let the process of healing from a painful gap take its course. Because the next inevitable stage is the stage of depression. Its main features are tension, apathy and a sense of helplessness. The repression of one's own feelings and the removal of one's own pain leads to inner emptiness. At this stage, people often commit rash, stupid and often irreparable acts.
A characteristic feature of the stage is the presence of obsessive thoughts. According to statistics, only a tenth of the mental suffering from a breakup is directly related to the impossibility of further close relationships. The remaining 90% are conjectures and fantasies that bring painful devastation.
And in order to cope with these symptoms, you must first understand that these thoughts are an external, hostile force that is trying to plunge into despair. The thought that we accept and begin to think about becomes ours, and we ourselves hurt ourselves. If you try to understand these thoughts, it turns out that the ideas from which they are "collected" contradict each other. For example, many girls think that somewhere there are women who are absolutely and completely happy, do not need anything, they are loved. But such a state of complete satisfaction cannot last indefinitely.
Another example of such ideas: an abstract, somewhere existing ideal guy with whom you can be happy forever. This is a big misconception. Everyone has problems. The main thing is not to transfer your past mistakes into a new relationship.
Human memory is a strange thing. She stubbornly keeps what she wants to forget as soon as possible.
Janusz Leon Wisniewski. Irresistible desire for intimacy
2. Disposal phase
This phase is directly related to the admission of defeat, but entails the search for new ideas and the creation of a new concept of life.As a rule, acute pain has already subsided, a person fully accepts what happened, adapts to new realities.
Conducted internal analysis helps to see the situation as it is, to assess their real and imagined feelings and needs.
Ruthlessly remove from your life everything that in any way reminds you of former romance: Delete all phone contacts, SMS messages and shared photos. Throw away all memorable gifts and souvenirs or put them away in a separate box.
3. Separation phase
Psychologists call the separation phase the final phase of the complex process of breaking up relationships. One day there comes a moment when you realize that you can look into the past and no longer feel such strong emotions as resentment and anger.
You feel ready to meet new people, you feel the strength to implement new cheerful plans, hope for a near joyful future. Your self-esteem and self-worth increase. Gradually, new impressions fill life, paint it in new colors. The mention of a former lover and everything connected with him no longer brings mental suffering.
The easiest way to survive a breakup is in excellent shape - change your image, arm yourself with impeccable styling, perfect manicure and makeup. Buy a new perfume, fashionable clothes, stylish shoes. Try to be in as much as possible interesting places, at master classes, exhibitions. Learn something new. If you have long wanted to visit a new place, make an exciting journey - the time has come.
Conclusion
Although the path to liberation from the past often becomes difficult and painful and takes a considerable amount of time, this ailment is treatable. Almost always, people who are faced with the question of how to forget a person with whom they will never be together, following the advice of a psychologist, receive such a complete release that they can hardly imagine that a breakup could hurt so deeply.Even when feeling pain, we must understand that by making efforts to restore inner balance, it is possible to gain a sense of relief, discover new potential in ourselves and feel the joy and harmony of life. When the heart becomes truly free and open, then you are ready to meet your soul mate.
We hope that our advice will be useful to those who are trying to survive the abrupt end of a relationship. And we'd love to know how you got on with it.
