Olga, try to re-read your letter, you yourself will probably understand that you have unnecessarily focused your life on the topic of food, on food as a pleasure, as a process, as a means. With its help, you, even subconsciously, are trying to solve your internal problems. I suppose that the negative emotions accumulated by you for a long time and not realized do not allow you to harmoniously interact with the outside world, people, you often experience discomfort, anxiety. And it was food that became for you not only a process of replenishing useful substances, but also a way of self-regulation. Everything that is connected with a violation of eating behavior is also connected with internal attitudes, barriers, prohibitions, self-acceptance, self-esteem, and a reward system. And you focused on this process as a way of self-regulation. Your body (a unique self-regulating system), with the help of this state, is already signaling to you that there are unresolved problems, in this way it tries to get you to pay attention to itself, tries to establish its internal balance, create a reserve in the body, protect itself from possible losses, being sure that if there is a layer on the body, then this can prevent him from harming from the outside - this is how he creates a compromise between fears and reality. Yes, most likely many spheres of life cause rejection in you, a desire to change or even completely get rid of them by choosing a different path, type of activity. And for some reason you decided that you couldn't handle it. It turns out vicious circle. Do you feel excess weight, you want to stay slim, in principle, this is a normal desire, but just in case, let me remind you that the most important thing in any process to start is motivation: for which, having a specific goal, it is much easier to set intermediate tasks and take steps to solve them. I am by no means saying that you don't need to lose weight. You just need to love yourself and your body, keeping it in a slender state, not by starvation. And in this case, it is imperative to connect the medical aspect, the examination of doctors, in order to always be aware of the presence / absence of deviations in the indicators of the norms. Health = beauty. But ... now the most important thing for you in the process of overcoming the problem is to start enjoying life. I'm talking quite seriously. After all, food for you is not only a threat to the figure, there is also the “other side of the coin”, with food you, I suppose, also pampered and encouraged yourself. You replace with it the emotions of joy, delight, admiration, when you change your attitude a little. In this way, your body more than fills in the gaps of pleasure that you should get from life in other ways, but you don’t get it - food has been fixed in your subconscious as the most effective option. Everyone reacts to life events, people, the world around differently . You - so, choosing a way to regulate food. But everything can be solved, in fact, all problems are only in a person’s head, we first firmly believe in them, we feel them, then we heroically overcome them, spending our energy. Direct it in a constructive direction, to create your own positive attitude, confidence in the good. What is happening with your emotional sphere? Where are the joyful impressions of life? You are missing a positive start. There is little joy from the phenomena of the world around us, pleasant surprise, a feeling of delight from an event, adrenaline from a dream come true, drive from a wish fulfilled, satisfaction from one’s physical, intellectual or professional capabilities, warmth and tenderness from relationships, humor and laughter, All this makes our life happier, fills it with meaning, allows you to feel harmony with the world, paints it in different colors. Think about what else in life can give you pleasure and start doing it. What have you dreamed of doing but never got around to? Dedicate as much time to your beloved as you didn’t allow before (I’m not talking about training and beauty salons, but about bright, exciting, driving activities - you have the right, allow them to yourself!). Do it. So far, excessive self-control takes too much energy from you, spend it on giving yourself joyful emotions, pleasure, looking for only good things in everything and in yourself first of all, not on changing yourself, not on tracking and restraining impulses, but on understanding self-respect, the development of all the best in yourself. Overcome the problem with pleasure, slowly and systematically. And as soon as you find yourself a couple of activities that please your heart, your food and weight will no longer be such a hot topic. Take action, become more active physically and socially, and positive emotions, new opportunities, work, people, impressions will appear in your life. Always remember that you are very good, smart and beautiful, worthy of being loved and happy, without doing anything for this purpose, without deserving! Do not rush, everything will come in due time, you will become more confident, begin to understand yourself better, but for this, open yourself to the world, let in its bright sides, feel the fullness of life. So you can switch to other sources of pleasure. If you feel that you can't cope on your own - seek help from specialists, that's why we get education, to get rid of the problems of those who need it, professionally. But also analyze for yourself what or who influences your positive attitude so much that you would like to radically change your life, about the changes that you yourself can make. Depending on how you relate to events, how you see them, feel them, the same life is built around you: a person is happy or not, depends on what he thinks about this. Change your attitude first of all to yourself. Love yourself without conditions. Find an opportunity for yourself to start enjoying life and everything in it will gradually begin to improve. Everything will work out for you and everything will be fine. I offer consultations in a chat, I will help to establish relationships with myself, my own body, understand and accept myself completely, find ways to solve your problem. Health, love and harmony with yourself. I would be grateful for the answer.
Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer "Olga, try to re-read your letter, you yourself will probably understand that you have concentrated your life too much ..." to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?
Discuss with an expertThe body allows us to move, eat, love, work and generally feel somehow. Sometimes it seems that he needs only warmth, satiety and security. But in response to special attention, it will thank you with vivacity, stress resistance, bright self-expression and creative upsurge - everything you need for a successful career.
body denial
Today, expressions such as "worker mental labor' and 'manual laborer'. There are fewer and fewer people who need only and exceptionally strong body for work - lumberjacks or diggers, their work is more often taken over by machines. Only loaders have to apply real simple muscular effort.
Apart from dancers and actors, for whom the body is the obvious working tool, the majority of workers today are office workers and the like. Their destiny in the physical sense is inactivity and monotony. And there is no thought that the body plays a role in successful professional and career advancement. Unless at the level of good self-care, since a young and fit look is part of the image of a successful person. But the body should not be limited to this, it is capable of more.
Of all the various and useful parts of the body of a clerk of any level, two are constantly working: the brain and what they sit on. Perhaps more hands, typing something on the keyboard and bringing the phone to his ear. Industrial gymnastics for Soviet employees, history has swallowed up, so that the rest of the body is usually not occupied with anything.
“I quit exercising a long time ago. - says Albina, 38 years old. - As a child, parents forced me to move to music in order to wake up and recharge for the whole day, as they said. But when I entered the institute and slept little at night, it was unthinkable to waste time on exercises, then I would have to pull myself out of bed. And now everything is about the same - it's a pity to waste time on these stupid movements, so my exercise is driving through traffic jams.
Fitness classes also sometimes turn into an indifferent use of the body as a machine that should look great, but how it feels, we often forget to think about it. Unlike ancient people, for whom bodily efforts were understood as necessary work for survival, we do not really own our body, as if our "I" finally settled in the head. And the arms, legs, back and stomach want to feel, work, get a load and bring real benefits, and not just show off in the window.
Emotions on lockdown
Among adults, it is not easy to find a person whose shoulders would not be tense. You should not blame everything on working at a computer - more often these are echoes of emotions locked since childhood.
“When I go to bed and try to relax,” says Nadezhda, 29, “it often seems to me that someone has attached about ten clothespins to my body. If you listen closely, you notice that these places are a little whiny and quite tense. In the mornings, it feels like I've been working all night."
Our relationship with the body is shaped to a large extent by mothers - by how they react to the baby, whether they take it in their arms, are attentive or cold. This experience captures in us one or another habitual posture with hidden zones of tension - a bent back, a head pressed into the shoulders, and immobility in the lower back.
body and shame
Sometimes a woman's life seems to be divided in half, into work and life itself, where there are parties, friends, dates, dances and where you can joyfully move. If we allow ourselves to bring a piece of this joy into the office, it is not always perceived correctly.
“It is customary in our company to go to formal suits, - says Elena, 31 years old, - and on Fridays, freestyle clothing is allowed, but also without extremes. One evening I was going to go to a party in the evening and therefore I came to the office in the morning in a red dress. It wasn’t even short, but on Monday the boss said that it was unacceptable to come to work in this form and I was distracting everyone from business. Now I live like this: in the morning
until the evening I am a robot, and in the evenings and weekends I am a woman.
Not allowing ourselves to attract the attention of men, fearing resentment and betrayal, following the instructions laid down in childhood to be modest, we clamp our own sexuality in a vise. And when life requires something else, we fall into a state where the body freezes like a computer. It's hard to know what you really want. Then it seems that it is easier not to understand, but simply turn off this computer and not have to deal with it anymore. Without understanding ourselves and our relationship with sex, modesty, passion, we can successfully suppress them.
However, this internal struggle will certainly be reflected in gait, movements, and even in facial expression.
The body as a tool
“If you don’t know what to say, get up and move around. Ideas will come and be convincing for your listeners, ”- approximately this instruction is given to all novice business coaches, as well as to those who are going to speak in public. The body is able to work independently even where, it would seem, rational arguments, meaningful discussion, decision-making are needed. When preparing for the presentation of your idea at a meeting, negotiations, exhibition, it is useful to rehearse the entire program of actions in a real physical space. How the booth, flip chart or video projection screen will be located, where the audience will sit, how you can move - these are things that subtly bring additional meaning to your presentation. Whether you are trampling in one place or moving at a walking pace even in a small space, whether hand gestures support your statements - such little things can set the speaker in a calm and confident way, and it is better to convey his thoughts to the audience.
There is also a downside to the idea of "the body as a tool." In an effort to look good, we intuitively guess what is proven today. scientific research: beautiful people are loved more, they are more forgiven, they are better paid, they are less likely to be fired and are more willing to hire. True, taking care of your body for a career-minded person can become debilitating - constant diets, a daily gym, face and hair masks. The body works, they pay attention to it - what, tell me, does it still need? And here is the paradox: while taking care of your body, spending money and time on it, you can still not feel it. Perceive not as a part of yourself, but as an object necessary for work, like an expensive tablet or an elegant moleskin, which should always look perfect, but simply cannot have its own desires.
Attitude to the body and appearance only as a tool for success can lead to the fact that self-care, all these small actions that women like so much, simply cease to bring joy. Alice, once in Wonderland, once grew up so much that she could not see her legs and missed them very much, like old friends. Make friends with your arms and legs, stomach and back, neck and chest - this is your real work team.
7 clip areas
Together with a specialist, you can find that in these zones in your body there are “squeezed” zones that you can carefully work out and release the feelings hidden there.
- Eyes. The area around them can be pinched, which, by the way, provokes the appearance of facial wrinkles, when we squint tensely, as if trying to peer into something incomprehensible. Or, on the contrary, we narrow our eyes so as not to see what is happening (inside or outside of us), not to attach special importance to it.
- Mouth. The clamp around the mouth occurs when we forbid ourselves to show any emotions, as well as verbally express them. The set of forbidden sensations includes sadness, disgust, aggression: with your mouth clamped, it is impossible to bare your teeth or shout out something offensive.
- Neck and tongue. These clamps hold back the voice, screaming, sobbing. The man seems to be dragging a yoke around his neck, he no longer has the strength, but he can’t tell, cry to anyone.
- Chest, shoulders and arms. Clamps in this area arise when someone - or we ourselves - forbade experiencing and showing melancholy, fun and passion. Somewhere in the chest, laughter or crying arose, hands wanted to reach out and hug, but they had to be lowered, and laughter with tears had to be restrained. Because of this, he lost his breath. The clamp in the chest sometimes begins to feel like a lump that you can’t immediately swallow and spit out. This block usually restricts breathing, its depth and frequency.
- D iris and solar plexus. Anger is hiding here, only much stronger than in previous cases. Driven inside, it concentrates in the area solar plexus and makes the whole body tense.
- Belly and back. In these vulnerabilities tension comes from the fear of attack, physical or symbolic. Waiting for a stab in the back from a loved one, fear of serious changes in life (the Old Slavonic “belly” meant exactly “life”). There is also repressed anger and hostility.
- Pelvic and leg area. They hide the pleasures that we deny ourselves (not only sexual), not daring to change our lives. Legs that should have gone in a different direction seem to be held in place, their muscles constantly tensing for no reason. This can even lead to seizures.
Loving yourself - your body - can be extremely difficult for many people. If in childhood a person's connection with his physical shell with his internal organs and systems is very strong, then with the course of life such contact can be broken. There is a conflict with own body a person is capable due to influence from the outside, for example, due to attacks from others. Hostile relations with the body can also develop under the influence of self-grown complexes, attitudes.
The lack of friendly connection with the body, the unwillingness to accept oneself and support oneself leads to the exhaustion of internal forces, to a situation of constant - self-created - debilitating stress. When a person is at odds with his internal organs and with the body as a whole, this inevitably leads to the development of disorders and pathologies. In addition, it reduces the overall quality of life and negatively affects the psyche.
How can you make friends with your body? How to return the necessary connection in order to feel full of strength and a healthy person every day?
A few steps to establish friendship with the body
- Make it a habit to say hello to your body every morning. When you wake up, do not immediately jump out of bed, listen to yourself, to your physical sensations, to the signals that the body gives. Mentally ask the body and internal organs how they feel today, how much time they had to recover and rest. Listen again: the body is sure to give answers. In addition, if you are attentive, sensitive and positive, the body will tell you how to improve well-being, if necessary.
- Learn to compliment yourself. Try not to constantly focus on any chronic ailments or on moments in appearance that for one reason or another do not suit you. Try to stand in front of a mirror every day for at least a month in a row and say nice things to yourself out loud, compliment your body. You will quickly feel how your mood will rise, how a surge of strength will arise. Gradually and any discomfort in organs and tissues will begin to melt under the influence of your positive attention.
- Before going to bed, take a few minutes of time to thank your body for what you have, that you are alive, that systems and organs work. Walk all over the body, pay at least a little attention to each area, sincerely saying “thank you”.
- To build a friendly connection with your body, try to walk barefoot more and more often. In the summer, it is worth at least once a week to run barefoot on the ground and grass in order to feel the surge of natural forces.
- Don't forget to take care of yourself. At the same time, the process of leaving should not be forced, unwanted and too hasty. Enjoy taking a shower, let yourself experience genuine pleasure using caring cosmetics.
- Try to realize and accept all your negative emotions and thoughts directed at the body. And then gently replace them with acceptance and love.
- Learn to breathe properly and deeply. Master at least simple relaxation techniques that will help get rid of the accumulated tension in the muscles and organs. Regularly performing practices, in a week you will notice how the body has become lighter, how more strength and confidence have appeared.
- Never rush when eating. Feel its taste, do not be distracted by anything, think only about the good at the time of eating.
- Do not forget to regularly give your body at least a minimal load. A person cannot be healthy if there is not enough movement and activity in his life.
- Don't ignore tactile sensations. Try to make it so that every day in your life there are hugs with other people.
How often do we think about our body in today's frantic pace? About the need to care for him, take care, groom and cherish? How often do you manage to give him enough rest, sleep, the opportunity to relax and not rush anywhere? Unfortunately, life now almost does not allow such a whim. And the results show themselves closer to old age, when the body slowly but steadily loses strength and life. Therefore, it is so important now to start listening to your body, take care of it, give it what it needs. The more we give it now, the more it will give us in difficult moments of life. Below are 20 ways to reconnect with your body, learn to listen to it and love it.
1. Go barefoot as much as possible
Communication with the earth (in the most direct sense) is very important for any person. It gives steadfastness, calmness, strength and steadfastness. Don't believe? Kick off your shoes and walk barefoot on the ground (not asphalt!), and you will see how good you feel.
2. Periodically listen to your body
We are so accustomed to seeing the world with our eyes that other senses are often ignored. Close your eyes, feel your whole body. How are you feeling? Are you comfortable? Cold, warm? How does your skin feel?
3. After a shower, gently and calmly lubricate the body with lotion
We often forget about it, hurrying in the morning to take a shower and quickly get ready for work. But this little ritual is a great opportunity to express your love to your body.
4. Mentally direct love to the part of your body that you do not like.
Usually these zones feel our condemnation and involuntarily project our thoughts into reality. That is, if you think you have big belly, it will be great, no matter what you do with it. So tell all the unloved areas of your body that you love them. Over time, they will change for the better.
5. Eat slowly and mindfully
Food is not only nourishing material for the body, but also a source of pleasure. Therefore, when you eat, enjoy the process itself.
6. When you chew your food, focus on it.
Each food is universal in its composition. And the more you pay attention to what exactly gets into your mouth and how it feels while you chew, the less products harmful to the body will be in your life. In fact, these burgers feel rubbery after the second bite!
7. Sleep naked more often
At first it may seem uncomfortable, but over time you will get used to it and begin to enjoy the ease and freedom.
8. Breathe deeply
Especially if you are under stress. When, as you know, breathing reflexively becomes fast and shallow. Try to set aside five to ten minutes of deep breathing throughout the day. And soon you will notice that you have become much calmer and more relaxed.
9. Dress to make the most of your clothes.
You don't have to follow fashion to feel comfortable in your clothes. Sometimes even the opposite - blind worship of fashion trends can deprive you of convenience. And your body will have to endure long hours of tightness (if things are too tight for you), or cold (if you ignored a warm down jacket for the sake of a light coat), or any other discomfort. Show your body that you love and care for it. Dress in a way that makes him comfortable.
10. Experiment with tactile sensations
We are accustomed to tactilely study objects through fingers and palms. But what if you try to feel the surface with another part of your body? Shoulder, elbow, cheek? What are your feelings?
11. Experiment with touching other people (of course, only with their consent)
Hug a loved one, press your cheek against your shoulder. How do you feel? Evaluate not only tactile sensations, but also how comfortable you feel inside. Do you enjoy hugging this person?
12. Keep a Food and Drink Journal
How does your body react to certain foods? Is it easy for you? Or do you feel a pleasant heaviness? Are you warm? Comfortable?
13. When you wake up, the first thing to do is ask your body how it feels today.
And how can you improve his condition?
14. Meditate
Even if you only have five minutes of free time. When you are fully aware of yourself in the present (which is exactly what meditation does), you can also feel your whole body. This is the most The best way make contact with him.
15. Get moving, try different activities
If you're used to jogging in the morning, replace some days of running with a pool, or dancing, or exercising in the gym. Explore the possibilities of your body.
16. Listen to your favorite music with your eyes closed
And you will literally feel how your body glows from within.
17. Go for a massage
This will give your body the opportunity to relax, relieve accumulated tension. You will feel wonderful!
18. Swim in open water
No matter how good the pools are, they still cannot replace the amazing feeling of living water. When you float on fresh air, in natural reservoirs, you unite with nature. And this unity gives peace, tranquility. Nothing compares to the feeling!
19. Workout every morning and every evening.
You don't have to exercise until you're sweating. You can just stretch a little, stretch your muscles. This will improve your condition.
20. Stand in front of a full-length mirror and compliment yourself.
Give yourself some love. Tell me how you love your body, how grateful you are for it. Say you promise to take care of him. Smile to yourself. You are worthy of love!
