script for a Russian production folk tale in the puppet theater

Duration of the performance: 35 minutes; number of actors: from 3 to 7.

Characters:
Emelya
Pike
Daughter-in-law
Boyarin
Marya the Princess
Tsar
Axe

In the foreground on the left is Emelya’s house, in the middle there are several snow-covered trees, on the right is the king’s palace. In the background there is a lake and a winter forest. The daughter-in-law leaves the house.

Daughter-in-law:
Hey Emelya, wake up
Get ready for water.
Stop sleeping on the stove!

Emelya looks out of the window.

Emelya (yawning):
Calm down, don't scream!
There is no desire for water -
This is not my job!
You went better than your brothers.
Daughter-in-law:
They went to the market.
I'll scold you
If you won't help.
Emelya:
If I bring water,
What is the reward for your efforts?
Daughter-in-law:
The brothers will bring it from the market
A pair of boots for you.
If you sleep on the stove,
There are no gifts in sight!
Emelya:
Okay, I'm on my way.

Emelya comes out of the hut with buckets.

Daughter-in-law:
I'm expecting you by lunchtime.

The daughter-in-law goes into the house, and Emelya, with buckets on a yoke, slowly walks towards the lake.

Emelya (sings):
A smart person won't get ahead,
A smart person will go around the mountain.
There's a fool lying on the stove
It's good for him anyway!

Emelya stops in front of the lake, takes a bucket and scoops it up. There is a pike in the bucket.

Emelya (joyfully):
What luck! Ha ha ha!
There will be a nice soup!

The pike is trying to escape. Emelya grabs her with his hands.

Emelya:
I barely held it in!
Pike:
Let me go, Emelya!
Know that you will need me,
If I end up in the river!
Emelya:
Wow, how you got into conversation!
You would be good for my ear.
Pike:
Let go, you won't regret it!
Emelya (incredulously):
Well, what can you do?
I feel like you're deceiving me.
I'll let you go and you'll end up in the water!
Don't flood me here!
Pike:
Whatever you want, wish!
Emelya:
Here he fools with miracles.
I want the buckets themselves
They followed me home,
They carried the water themselves.
Pike:
So that everything becomes your way,
You say it like I said:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire!
Emelya:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Buckets, come to my house,
Don't spill the water!

The buckets begin to move slowly towards the house. Emelya throws the pike into the hole and follows them.

Emelya (sings):
Even though it doesn’t fly in the sky
And he doesn’t bite science,
The fool in the world knows everything
And he is always lucky!

Buckets enter the house. The daughter-in-law looks out of the window.

Daughter-in-law:
What a miracle of miracles!
Emelya:
That's it! I climbed onto the stove.
Daughter-in-law:
No way! No time to lie around
You must get ready for the forest.
The house has run out of wood,
The stove is barely warm.
Emelya (yawning):
Well, what are you here for?
Do this, do that.
Reluctance! I'll sleep!
Daughter-in-law:
All! There are no gifts in sight!
Emelya:
Wow, you are so harmful -
Everyone grumbles and reproaches!
I will receive gifts
I really, really want them!

Emelya leaves the house. A sleigh without a horse appears from behind the house. Emelya gets into the sleigh.

Emelya:
Open the gate quickly!
Daughter-in-law:
I didn't care!
How are you going, you fool?
You didn't harness the horse!
Emelya (laughs):
It's okay, I'll do it somehow.
Don't forget to give me some bread!

The daughter-in-law leaves the house and hands Emelya a loaf of bread.

Emelya (to the side):
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Go, my sleigh,
To the dense forest for firewood!

The sleigh starts and goes to the forest. The daughter-in-law goes into the house. A boyar looks out of the palace window.

E grinding (sings):
Oh you sleigh, my sleigh,
I don't need an all-terrain vehicle!
Behind the mountains, behind the forests
Hardly anyone will find better!

The sleigh stops near the forest. Emelya comes out. The sleigh is hiding behind the trees. The boyar leaves the palace, approaches the forest and looks out from behind the trees to see what Emelya is doing.

Emelya:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Chop some wood, an axe,
If you are still sharp,
And firewood - tie it yourself
And jump on the sleigh
I'll sit down and rest,
I'll eat the crust and take a nap.
Boyarin (to the side):
Something is obviously wrong here,
You know, Emelya is not a fool!
Where have you seen a sleigh
They rolled through the snow on their own.
I'll sit quietly
I’ll keep an eye on Emelya!

Emelya hides behind the trees. An ax immediately appears from behind them. The boyar looks out from behind the trees from the side of the lake.

Axe:
Knock-knock! Knock-knock!
I chop wood without hands!
Beware, honest people!

The ax swings at the boyar.

Axe:
Hey, don't stand here under the pine tree!
Boyarin:
Oh you! Lord save me!
Look how he mowed down the forest.
We must report to the king!

The boyar runs away towards the palace. The ax disappears behind the trees, and a sleigh loaded with firewood immediately appears. Emelya sits on top of them.

Emelya (yawning):
Sani, I'm telling you,
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
And with firewood, and with me
Let's go home!

The sleigh goes to the house and hides behind it along with Emelya. The boyar runs up to the porch of the royal palace. The king looks out of the palace window. The boyar points his hand towards the forest.

Boyarin:
The king is our father! Trouble!
Never before
To drive a sleigh through the snowdrifts
They drove the fools themselves,
Buckets fetched water,
Axes chopped wood.
Tsar (menacingly):
Who are they? How dare you?
Boyarin (bowing):
It's all the fool Emelya!
He cut down the trees
He suppressed the darkness of the people,
Our kingdom is being ruined
And he does this...
Our king, father, trouble!
Tsar (angrily):
Bring him here!
Yes to the dungeon! He will know
How can you not respect the king?

The Tsar hides in the window, and the boyar goes to Emelya’s house.

Boyarin (sings):
Right hand king
I don’t call myself for nothing.
If there is no money in the treasury,
They entrust this to me!
If there is turmoil in our kingdom,
I'll deal with it in a minute -
I'm for every trouble
I'll find the culprit!

The boyar knocks on Emelya’s door. Emelya looks out of the window.

Boyarin:
I am by royal decree
I'm arresting you right away!
Hey, Emelya, get off the stove!
Emelya (yawning):
You, boyar, don’t shout!
I have my own concern -
I don't feel like it today!

The boyar grabs Emelya by the hair and pulls him out of the window. Emelya fights back.

Emelya:
Oh, you are! Well, wait a minute!
Hey, stick, come out.
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Give the boyar a kick
Break off his sides!

A club appears from the house and begins to beat the boyar. The boyar runs away. The club is behind him.

Boyarin:
Oh! Ay! Hurt! Guard!

The daughter-in-law appears on the doorstep.

Daughter-in-law (Emela):
You shouldn't have scared him away.
He will return with the soldiers,
We'll be filled with tears!

The boyar runs into the forest, the club behind him.

Emelya:
Well, okay, I'm not afraid.
At least I can fight the army!
And I won’t get off the stove,
At least promise me rolls!

A out of breath, beaten boyar with a bandaged head appears from behind the trees and walks towards the palace.

Boyarin:
What a terrible misfortune
It won't be long before the abyss is over!

C The ar appears in the palace window and looks down at the boyar.

Tsar :
Where are you from?
Boyarin (with a sigh):
From Emelya!
Tsar (angrily):
Why are you dragging along barely?
Where is Emelya? Where is the fool?
Boyarin:
There is no way to stop him!
On my sore back
He set his club.
Tsar (surprised):
What, boyar, are you talking about?
Bring him as you like!
Otherwise for all the sins
You'll get it for nuts!

The king hides in the palace, and the boyar slowly walks back to Emelya.

Boyarin (sings):
The royal service is difficult,
There is only one head.
I feel sorry for my head
You have to be smart
After all, you can’t sit in a puddle
To the statesman!

The boyar knocks on Emelya's door. The daughter-in-law comes out onto the porch.

Daughter-in-law (whispers):
Hush, Emelya is sleeping.
He is terribly angry with everyone.
Boyarin (also in a whisper):
What to do? What should I do?
How to persuade him?
After all, this is the order of the king.
Daughter-in-law:
Don't threaten him in vain.
He can't stand screaming.
Well, what if they ask him
Yes, they will promise a new thing,
He will be happy to please.

The daughter-in-law goes into the house. Emelya looks out the window.

Emelya (yawning):
You again? Come on, dumbass...
Boyarin (with a bow):
Have pity on my back!
I, Emelyushka, brought
I'll pack a cart for you.
If you go to the king,
I'll give you a red hat!
Emelya (yawning):
Boyar, I don’t feel like it!
I've been yawning all day -
I'm lying on the stove,
I spend my time usefully.
Boyarin (ingratiatingly):
If you go, Tsar Ivan
Red will give you a caftan,
And on two legs
Boots made of morocco!
Emelya (condescendingly):
Okay, you go ahead
Get the people out of the way.
Let the king prepare dinner
I'll follow you!
The boyar runs to the palace.
Emelya:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Do as I say:
Go bake to the king!

The house is shaking, Emelya leaves it on the stove and rides through the forest to the palace.

Emelya (sings):
Won't you take me, frost -
My oven is like a locomotive!
Even there are clouds in the sky
They won't catch up with the fool!

The king leaves the palace. The stove stops in front of the palace.

Tsar (menacingly):
What have you done, villain?
Why did you crush people?
He cut down the royal forests
And beat the boyar?
Emelya:
I'm not to blame for anything.
All! Let's go back!

Marya the Princess appears in the palace window. Emelya looks at her.

Emelya:
And the princess is pretty.
It's a pity, she looks like her father.
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Let it be in broad daylight
He's going to fall in love with me!
Come back, bake, home!

The stove slowly moves towards the hut. Marya Princess runs out of the palace and runs after.

Marya-Tsarevna:
Where are you going, my love?
Wait, what about me?
Tsar (indignantly):
What is it, my daughter?
Hey, set up the chase!
Put everyone in prison!

The king is hiding in the palace. The boyar runs out of the palace, catches up with Princess Marya at the edge of the forest and pulls her back. She resists.

Marya-Tsarevna:
I want it at the end of the week
Marry Emelya!
I can’t live without Emelya -
I'll run away from home!
Let go, otherwise
I'll scream and cry!

The Tsar appears in the window.

Tsar:
What a disaster, what a disaster!
He shouldn't have come here!
Well, you, dear daughter,
Get out of the house.
You are not my daughter yet
Do you want a fool husband?

The Tsar and Boyar are hiding in the palace, and Marya Princess catches up with Emelya and sits down next to him on the stove. The stove approaches the hut.

Emelya:
That's it, we've arrived. Get off!
Marya-Tsarevna (capriciously):
I don't want to go into this dirt.
I want, like with my father,
Live with you in the palace!
Emelya (scratching head):
This is hilarious! Ha ha ha!
Why is the hut bad for you?
Okay, I'll arrange everything now
And I will build a palace for you!
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Build a golden palace!

The hut disappears, and a golden palace appears in its place.
Marya Princess claps her hands.

Marya-Tsarevna:
You, Emelya, are great!

The stove, together with Emelya and Marya the Princess, enters the palace. Emelya looks out of the window, and Marya Tsarevna goes out onto the porch.

Marya the Princess:
What a beauty.
If father finds out,
That we have such a palace,
He will lose his peace
He will envy us
Estimate the cost.

Princess Marya looks at Emelya.

Marya the Princess:
Is it possible to wish
So that you can become handsome?
Emelya (laughs):
Look what you wanted!
Beauty without benefit!
But if you want, I’ll help you,
Just wait, I’ll say:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
I wish I could become smarter and more beautiful,
As Masha wishes!

Immediately, instead of Emelya the Fool, Emelya the Tsarevich appears in the window.

Marya-Tsarevna (admiringly):
You, Emelya, are simply a miracle!
I'll be with you until death
Lie together on the stove
And adore with all my heart!
Together in the golden palace
It's like we'll live in paradise!

The princess goes into the palace, Emelya the prince hides. The king looks out from the window of the royal palace.

Tsar (admiringly):
Oh, what wonderful view -
The Golden Palace stands.
I don't understand anything -
He wasn't there!
(indignantly)
What's happened? Who dared?
And when did the villain have time!?
I can't stand this
After all, the land underneath is mine!
Hey, boyar, come out,
Look at this!

Boyarin leaves the palace.

Boyarin:
Good God! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The poppies are burning with fire!
Tsar:
You, boyar, do not be baptized,
Go and figure it out!
Take the army and go into battle,
I'm following you!

The boyar and the Tsar go to the Emelin Palace. The king looks out from behind the trees. The boyar knocks on the door. Emelya leaves the palace. Marya the Princess appears in the window.

Boyarin:
Do you want to go to jail?
Who are they? Why
Committed a crime -
Erected without permission
Gilded your palace?
Marya-Tsarevna:
Tell the Tsar Father
He loved and favored us -
He came to visit us!
Emelya-Tsarevich:
Otherwise, tell the king
I will destroy the entire kingdom!
Ali didn’t recognize Emelya?
The king comes out of the forest.
Tsar:
Is that you? I don't believe!
If so, marry Masha
And take our whole kingdom,
Just don't destroy us!
Emelya-Tsarevich:
We'll celebrate the wedding now!
I don't hold it against you
Finally, I’ll just say:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
I found my happiness!
Let everything be fine!

At the behest of the pike

Script for staging a Russian folk tale in a home puppet theater

Characters:

Emelya
Pike
Daughter-in-law
Boyarin
Marya the Princess
Tsar
Axe

In the foreground on the left is Emelya’s house, in the middle there are several snow-covered trees, on the right is the king’s palace. In the background there is a lake and a winter forest. The daughter-in-law leaves the house.

Daughter-in-law

Hey Emelya, wake up
Get ready for water.
Stop sleeping on the stove!

Emelya looks out of the window.

Emelya (yawning)

Calm down, don't scream!
There is no desire for water -
This is not my job!
You went better than your brothers.

Daughter-in-law

They went to the market.
I'll scold you
If you won't help.

Emelya

If I bring water,
What is the reward for your efforts?

Daughter-in-law

The brothers will bring it from the market
A pair of boots for you.
If you sleep on the stove,
There are no gifts in sight!

Emelya

Okay, I'm on my way.

Emelya comes out of the hut with buckets.

Daughter-in-law

I'm expecting you by lunchtime.

The daughter-in-law goes into the house, and Emelya, with buckets on a yoke, slowly walks towards the lake.

Emelya (singing)

A smart person won't get ahead,
A smart person will go around the mountain.
There's a fool lying on the stove
It's good for him anyway!

Emelya stops in front of the lake, takes a bucket and scoops it up. There is a pike in the bucket.

Emelya (joyfully)

What luck! Ha ha ha!
There will be a nice soup!

The pike is trying to escape. Emelya grabs her with his hands.

Emelya

I barely held it in!

Pike

Let me go, Emelya!
Know that you will need me,
If I end up in the river!

Emelya

Wow, how you got into conversation!
You would be good for my ear.

Pike

Let go, you won't regret it!

Emelya (incredulously)

Well, what can you do?
I feel like you're deceiving me.
I'll let you go and you'll end up in the water!
Don't flood me here!

Pike

Whatever you want, wish!

Emelya

Here he fools with miracles.
I want the buckets themselves
They followed me home,
They carried the water themselves.

Pike

So that everything becomes your way,
You say it like I said:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire!

Emelya

As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Buckets, come to my house,
Don't spill the water!

The buckets begin to move slowly towards the house. Emelya throws the pike into the hole and follows them.

Emelya (singing)

Even though it doesn’t fly in the sky
And he doesn’t bite science,
The fool in the world knows everything
And he is always lucky!

Buckets enter the house. The daughter-in-law looks out of the window.

Daughter-in-law

What a miracle of miracles!

Emelya

That's it! I climbed onto the stove.

Daughter-in-law

No way! No time to lie around
You must get ready for the forest.
The house has run out of wood,
The stove is barely warm.

Emelya (yawning)

Well, what are you here for?
Do this, do that.
Reluctance! I'll sleep!

Daughter-in-law

All! There are no gifts in sight!

Emelya

Wow, you are so harmful -
Everyone grumbles and reproaches!
I will receive gifts
I really, really want them!

Emelya leaves the house. A sleigh without a horse appears from behind the house. Emelya gets into the sleigh.

Emelya

Open the gate quickly!

Daughter-in-law

I didn't care!
How are you going, you fool?
You didn't harness the horse!

Emelya (laughs)

It's okay, I'll do it somehow.
Don't forget to give me some bread!

The daughter-in-law leaves the house and hands Emelya a loaf of bread.

Emelya (to the side)

As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Go, my sleigh,
To the dense forest for firewood!

The sleigh starts and goes to the forest. The daughter-in-law goes into the house. A boyar looks out of the palace window.

Emelya (singing)

Oh you sleigh, my sleigh,
I don't need an all-terrain vehicle!
Behind the mountains, behind the forests
Hardly anyone will find better!

The sleigh stops near the forest. Emelya comes out. The sleigh is hiding behind the trees. The boyar leaves the palace, approaches the forest and looks out from behind the trees to see what Emelya is doing.

Emelya

As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Chop some wood, an axe,
If you are still sharp,
And firewood - tie it yourself
And jump on the sleigh
I'll sit down and rest,
I'll eat the crust and take a nap.

Boyar (aside)

Something is obviously wrong here,
You know, Emelya is not a fool!
Where have you seen a sleigh
They rolled through the snow on their own.
I'll sit quietly
I’ll keep an eye on Emelya!

Emelya hides behind the trees. An ax immediately appears from behind them. The boyar looks out from behind the trees from the side of the lake.

Axe

Knock-knock! Knock-knock!
I chop wood without hands!
Beware, honest people!

The ax swings at the boyar.

Axe

Hey, don't stand here under the pine tree!

Boyarin

Oh you! Lord save me!
Look how he mowed down the forest.
We must report to the king!

The boyar runs away towards the palace. The ax disappears behind the trees, and a sleigh loaded with firewood immediately appears. Emelya sits on top of them.

Emelya (yawning)

Sani, I'm telling you,
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
And with firewood, and with me
Let's go home!

The sleigh goes to the house and hides behind it along with Emelya. The boyar runs up to the porch of the royal palace. The king looks out of the palace window. The boyar points his hand towards the forest.

Boyarin

The king is our father! Trouble!
Never before
To drive a sleigh through the snowdrifts
They drove the fools themselves,
Buckets fetched water,
Axes chopped wood.

Tsar (menacingly)

Who are they? How dare you?

Boyar (bowing)

It's all the fool Emelya!
He cut down the trees
He suppressed the darkness of the people,
Our kingdom is being ruined
And he does this...
Our king, father, trouble!

King (angrily)

Bring him here!
Yes to the dungeon! He will know
How can you not respect the king?

The Tsar hides in the window, and the boyar goes to Emelya’s house.

Boyarin (sings)

Right hand of the king
I don’t call myself for nothing.
If there is no money in the treasury,
They entrust this to me!
If there is turmoil in our kingdom,
I'll deal with it in a minute -
I'm for every trouble
I'll find the culprit!

The boyar knocks on Emelya’s door. Emelya looks out of the window.

Boyarin

I am by royal decree
I'm arresting you right away!
Hey, Emelya, get off the stove!

Emelya (yawning)

You, boyar, don’t shout!
I have my own concern -
I don't feel like it today!

The boyar grabs Emelya by the hair and pulls him out of the window. Emelya fights back.

Emelya

Oh, you are! Well, wait a minute!
Hey, stick, come out.
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Give the boyar a kick
Break off his sides!

A club appears from the house and begins to beat the boyar. The boyar runs away. The club is behind him.

Boyarin

Oh! Ay! Hurt! Guard!

The daughter-in-law appears on the doorstep.

Daughter-in-law (Emele)

You shouldn't have scared him away.
He will return with the soldiers,
We'll be filled with tears!

The boyar runs into the forest, the club behind him.

Emelya

Well, okay, I'm not afraid.
At least I can fight the army!
And I won’t get off the stove,
At least promise me rolls!

A out of breath, beaten boyar with a bandaged head appears from behind the trees and walks towards the palace.

Boyarin

What a terrible misfortune
It won't be long before the abyss is over!

The Tsar appears in the palace window and looks down at the boyar.

Tsar

Where are you from?

Boyar (with a sigh)

From Emelya!

King (angrily)

Why are you dragging along barely?
Where is Emelya? Where is the fool?

Boyarin

There is no way to stop him!
On my sore back
He set his club.

King (surprised)

What, boyar, are you talking about?
Bring him as you like!
Otherwise for all the sins
You'll get it for nuts!

The king hides in the palace, and the boyar slowly walks back to Emelya.

Boyarin (sings)

The royal service is difficult,
There is only one head.
I feel sorry for my head
You have to be smart
After all, you can’t sit in a puddle
To the statesman!

The boyar knocks on Emelya's door. The daughter-in-law comes out onto the porch.

Daughter-in-law (whispers)

Hush, Emelya is sleeping.
He is terribly angry with everyone.

Boyar (also in a whisper)

What to do? What should I do?
How to persuade him?
After all, this is the order of the king.

Daughter-in-law

Don't threaten him in vain.
He can't stand screaming.
Well, what if they ask him
Yes, they will promise a new thing,
He will be happy to please.

The daughter-in-law goes into the house. Emelya looks out the window.

Emelya (yawning)

You again? Come on, dumbass...

Boyar (with a bow)

Have pity on my back!
I, Emelyushka, brought
I'll pack a cart for you.
If you go to the king,
I'll give you a red hat!

Emelya (yawning)

Boyar, I don’t feel like it!
I've been yawning all day -
I'm lying on the stove,
I spend my time usefully.

Boyar (ingratiatingly)

If you go, Tsar Ivan
Red will give you a caftan,
And on two legs
Boots made of morocco!

Emelya (condescendingly)

Okay, you go ahead
Get the people out of the way.
Let the king prepare dinner
I'll follow you!

The boyar runs to the palace.

Emelya

As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire,
Do as I say:
Go bake to the king!

The house is shaking, Emelya leaves it on the stove and rides through the forest to the palace.

Emelya (singing)

Won't you take me, frost -
My oven is like a locomotive!
Even there are clouds in the sky
They won't catch up with the fool!

The king leaves the palace. The stove stops in front of the palace.

Tsar (menacingly)

What have you done, villain?
Why did you crush people?
He cut down the royal forests
And beat the boyar?

Emelya

I'm not to blame for anything.
All! Let's go back!

Marya the Princess appears in the palace window. Emelya looks at her.

Emelya

And the princess is pretty.
It's a pity, she looks like her father.
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Let it be in broad daylight
He's going to fall in love with me!
Come back, bake, home!

The stove slowly moves towards the hut. Marya Princess runs out of the palace and runs after.

Marya-Tsarevna

Where are you going, my love?
Wait, what about me?

King (indignantly)

What is it, my daughter?
Hey, set up the chase!
Put everyone in prison!

The king is hiding in the palace. The boyar runs out of the palace, catches up with Princess Marya at the edge of the forest and pulls her back. She resists.

Marya-Tsarevna

I want it at the end of the week
Marry Emelya!
I can’t live without Emelya -
I'll run away from home!
Let go, otherwise
I'll scream and cry!

The Tsar appears in the window.

Tsar

What a disaster, what a disaster!
He shouldn't have come here!
Well, you, dear daughter,
Get out of the house.
You are not my daughter yet
Do you want a fool husband?

The Tsar and Boyar are hiding in the palace, and Marya Princess catches up with Emelya and sits down next to him on the stove. The stove approaches the hut.

Emelya

That's it, we've arrived. Get off!

Marya Princess (capriciously)

I don't want to go into this dirt.
I want, like with my father,
Live with you in the palace!

Emelya (scratching head)

This is hilarious! Ha ha ha!
Why is the hut bad for you?
Okay, I'll arrange everything now
And I will build a palace for you!
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
Build a golden palace!

The hut disappears, and a golden palace appears in its place. Marya Princess claps her hands.

Marya-Tsarevna

You, Emelya, are great!

The stove, together with Emelya and Marya the Princess, enters the palace. Emelya looks out of the window, and Marya Tsarevna goes out onto the porch.

Marya the Princess

What a beauty.
If father finds out,
That we have such a palace,
He will lose his peace
He will envy us
Estimate the cost.

Princess Marya looks at Emelya.

Marya the Princess

Is it possible to wish
So that you can become handsome?

Emelya (laughs)

Look what you wanted!
Beauty without benefit!
But if you want, I’ll help you,
Just wait, I’ll say:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
I wish I could become smarter and more beautiful,
As Masha wishes!

Immediately, instead of Emelya the Fool, Emelya the Tsarevich appears in the window.

Marya Princess (admiringly)

You, Emelya, are simply a miracle!
I'll be with you until death
Lie together on the stove
And adore with all my heart!
Together in the golden palace
It's like we'll live in paradise!

The princess goes into the palace, Emelya the prince hides. The king looks out from the window of the royal palace.

King (admiringly)

Oh, what a wonderful view -
The Golden Palace stands.
I don't understand anything -
He wasn't there!
(indignantly)
What's happened? Who dared?
And when did the villain have time!?
I can't stand this
After all, the land underneath is mine!
Hey, boyar, come out,
Look at this!

Boyarin leaves the palace.

Boyarin

Good God! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The poppies are burning with fire!

Tsar

You, boyar, do not be baptized,
Go and figure it out!
Take the army and go into battle,
I'm following you!

The boyar and the Tsar go to the Emelin Palace. The king looks out from behind the trees. The boyar knocks on the door. Emelya leaves the palace. Marya the Princess appears in the window.

Boyarin

Do you want to go to jail?
Who are they? Why
Committed a crime -
Erected without permission
Gilded your palace?

Marya-Tsarevna

Tell the Tsar Father
He loved and favored us -
He came to visit us!

Emelya-Tsarevich

Otherwise, tell the king
I will destroy the entire kingdom!
Ali didn’t recognize Emelya?

The king comes out of the forest.

Tsar

Is that you? I don't believe!
If so, marry Masha
And take our whole kingdom,
Just don't destroy us!

Emelya-Tsarevich

We'll celebrate the wedding now!
I don't hold it against you
Finally, I’ll just say:
As if by order of a pike,
Yes, according to my desire
I found my happiness!
Let everything be fine!

Vladislav Panfilov

(buffoonish farce).

CHARACTERS:
Emelya
Buffoons - they are:
people,
army,
guests of the king,
and all other characters.
Main personalities:
Tsar,
Princess Nesmeyana,
Nobleman,
Voivode,
Nurse,
1st Sister Emelya,
2nd Sister Emelya
herald

The buffoon runs onto the stage (he is also, in the future, the Herald.)

Buffoon (for all honest people). The Tale of Emel the Loafer, Tsar
Peas, Princess Nesmeyane and the magic pike word!

Killer folk music sounds.
And onto the stage, from all corners of the auditorium, from all
doors - in a word, buffoons run out from everywhere.
They arrange a fun “shari-vari”: dancing, somersaults,
somersaults, etc.
Suddenly - in the most cheerful place - the music stops.
The buffoons are at a loss.

Buffoons:
- Hey! What's happened?
- Give me some music!..
- What's the matter?!
- etc. phrases.

1st Buffoon (points into the hall). Look - Emelya!

Emelya walks through the hall, yawning and scratching himself, with a pillow in his hand, in an awkward hat, with an incomprehensible swing, in felt boots - he doesn’t know where.
The buffoons, having quickly whispered, pretend
to "forest":
someone whistles like a bird,
someone is making noise with the tree,
someone croaks, someone quacks.
In a word, everything is in order.
Emelya gets up on stage, looks around, puzzledly remembers:
where is the forest from?

EMELYA (yawns). I'll sleep here...

Goes to bed.
The buffoons cease to be a “forest” and surround Emelya.

1st Buffoon. Sleeping again!

Emelya, shall we go and play?
EMELYA. Reluctance...
2nd Buffoon (obviously supports the sneering tone of the 1st
Buffoon). Emelya, shall we go to the river for a swim?
EMELYA. Reluctance.

This “reluctance” amuses the buffoons.

3rd Buffoon. Emelya, shall we go and eat some ice cream?
EMELYA. Reluctance!
4th Buffoon. Emelya, will you go to the disco?
EMELYA. Reluctance!

The buffoons whispered and screamed in unison into Emelya’s ears.

Buffoons. Eme-e-a-a-a!

The buffoons instantly ran away different sides and again
pretended to be in the “forest”.

EMELYA (jumped up, waving a pillow, yelling). I won't go! Don't want! I won't!

He looks around in bewilderment: there is a “forest” all around...
Was it a dream, or what?
He falls asleep again.
The buffoons again surround Emelya.

1st Buffoon. Yes, the problem...
2nd Buffoon. Guys, let's give it to him

Gesture to Emelya.

Shall we arrange a fairy tale?
Buffoons. Let's!
2nd Buffoon. Should there be a king in a fairy tale?!
SKOMOOKHI. So you will be king!

The “king’s” robe is quickly brought out.
The 2nd Buffoon puts on it, transforms like a king: he grunted, tsked, glared, and all the “people” bent down in a semi-respectful bow.

Buffoons-PEOPLE (enthusiastically). Oh! Tsar!
KING (adjusting the crown on his head). Fine!

Looks at the “people”.

Soooo. I need an assistant - Nobleman!
PEOPLE. And you will be a nobleman!

They push out the 3rd Buffoon.
The “Nobleman’s” robe is immediately brought out.
The nobleman has put on his clothes, transformed: he glances at the “people”, and caresses the “king” with a smile.

NOBLEGE. Father Tsar, I also need an assistant - Voivode!
TSAR. Agree! The governor is here!

“Voevoda” flies out, receives his “uniform”, punches people with his fist
threatens.

VOIVODA. Father Tsar, you need a daughter!
KING (joyfully). Yes, yes! I need a daughter!
VOIVODA (turned to face the people). Come on, people, who will be the daughter!

Two girls come out - by their “texture” they are clearly not starving.

GIRLS. We will be daughters!..
PEOPLE. No! We won't feed...
TSAR. No... It hurts! Very powerful!

Two more girls come out: legs from teeth, and smiles from ear to ear.

GIRLS. We will be daughters!
TSAR. Wow!
PEOPLE. No! Just give them everything from Yudashkin! And we will again
run around with bare bottoms!..
TSAR. Woohoo! It won’t work!.. We would like something simpler!

The people push out the small, cheerful girl.

PEOPLE. Whoa! Here's my daughter!
TSAR. Similar. Gorgeous. Will do!

They bring out some kind of unkempt wig with a crown and place the wig on the girl’s head.

PEOPLE. Princess!.. Not laughing!
GIRL. Which one of me is Nesmeyana? I can't even cry.
SOMEONE FROM THE PEOPLE. If you don't know how, we'll teach you.
PEOPLE. Let's teach!
SOMEONE FROM THE PEOPLE. If you don't want to, we'll force you!
PEOPLE. Let's force it!
GIRL (begins to show the character of Nesmeyana). You won't force me!
PEOPLE (winks at each other and yells in unison, scaring her). Ah-ah-ah!

Nesmeyana squeals and runs away.
The people scatter in different directions.
The Tsar shouted: “Daughter!”, and the Noble and the Voivode: “Princess!” - they run away after Nesmeyana.
Emelya jumped up at the general shout and noise and shouted after the king.

EMELYA. Various kings ran away here! Are there no government affairs?..

Pause.
Emelya looks around: there is no one around.

Wow, I said so much, I’m even tired.

Falls asleep.
And Emelya’s sisters appear in the hall: in today’s language, they are very cool girls.

1ST SISTER (looking for Emelya). Eme-e-e-e!
2ND SISTER (looks for Emelya at the other end of the hall). Emelya-ah-ah!
1ST SISTER (points to a male spectator sitting in the hall). Here is Emelya!

Emelya, come on, run for water!
2nd sister. Stop! This is not our Emelya! Ours is a smaller sprout.

Man, what's your name?

The viewer responds.

Here, did you hear?
1ST SISTER. Where is our Emelya?

He addresses the audience very sweetly.

Have you seen our Emelya?

The audience gives hints.

2ND SISTER. Ah-ah-ah! There he is sleeping! Sleeping again! Well, I tell him!..

The sisters run onto the stage.

1ST SISTER. Emelya, we need to go get some water!
EMELYA. Reluctance...
2ND SISTER. How reluctant?.. So this is who we are

weak women will fetch water, and you will lie here? Yes I love you!..

Shaking his muscles, he runs up and tries to “punish” Emelya.

1ST SISTER (restraining her). Wait! You can't do that with him.
2ND SISTER. Still like “lzya”! I'll give it to you right now!
1ST SISTER. But he won’t take it, and we’ll be left without water!
2ND SISTER. What should I do?
1ST SISTER (actively whispers in the 2nd sister’s ear). Understood?
2ND SISTER. No...
1ST SISTER (whispers to the 2nd sister in the other ear). Do you understand now?
2ND SISTER. Nope!
1ST SISTER (looks into the 2nd sister’s ear and laughs). Uh, yes, in one ear
flies in and flies out of another. We'll fix it now.

She plugs one ear of the 2nd sister and whispers into the other.

Well? Understood?

The 2nd sister nods her head, saying she understands.
The 1st sister releases her hand from the 2nd sister’s ear, and she immediately reacts as if something had flown out of her head.

2ND SISTER. Nope!
1ST SISTER (shows fist). Right now... how...!
2ND SISTER. No need! I'll understand! You start, and I will understand! I'm smart!

The sisters approach Emela.

1ST SISTER. Emelya!..
2ND SISTER (repeats everything after her exactly). Emelya!
1ST SISTER (as if by the way). But the brothers will return from the fair...

An expressive look at the 2nd sister.

2ND SISTER (happily realized). And they won’t bring you any gifts!
EMELYA (jumps up). How is it that they won’t bring it?
1ST SISTER. And this is how it is!..
2ND SISTER. They won't deliver it at all!
BOTH SISTERS (together). They will never deliver! Go get some water!
EMELYA. Well, okay, okay! Bring your buckets.

The sisters run to bring buckets to Emela.

1ST SISTER. Emelyushka, and to be the cleanest!
2ND SISTER. And make sure the bucket is full! With a slide!
EMELYA (takes the buckets). “Go to the factory, go get some water”...

So he mumbles irritably and leaves.

SISTERS. Hurray! It worked!

Both at the same time, wanting to tease each other.

And I know where the key is... to the cupboard where the jars of jam are!

We came to our senses.

And they ran a race to this key.
Nesmeyana runs through with a wild roar.
Behind her is the Tsar and his retinue.
The king stops to catch his breath.
The retinue sneaks on.

TSAR (after the Nesmeyans). Daughter! Daughter!

Voivode! Voivode!!!

The Voivode runs in.

VOIVODA. What was your name, Father Tsar?
TSAR. Call your mom!

The Voivode screams deafeningly in different directions - it is immediately clear that the method of calling the Mother has been practiced for years.

VOIVODA. Mom-ah! Mom-ah!

Mom runs in - a huge woman.

VOIVODA (gesture towards the king). The Tsar Father is calling!

The mother joyfully runs to the Tsar and grabs him in her arms.

NURSE. Father Tsar!!
VOIVODA. Subordination of dishes!

The mother releases the Tsar and moves away to a respectful distance.

NURSE. Was your name Tsar Father?
TSAR. Called. Call the nobleman!

The mother and the Voivode perform the ritual of summoning the Noble, familiar to them to the “green devils”.

MUMMA and VOIVODA. Nobleman! Nobleman! Nobleman!

The nobleman appeared very angry, apparently he had been torn away from something “important”.

NOBLEGE. Why are you so upset?
MUM and VOIVODA (gesture towards the Tsar). The Tsar Father is calling!

The nobleman immediately doubled over.

NOBLEGE. Was your name Tsar Father?
TSAR. Called... Listen, Nobleman, the Tsar's decree!

Comes to the forefront.

They say, whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse me, I will marry her to him... well, he will live and live in the palace. Got it?
NOBLEGE. Got it.
TSAR. Do it!

Proud of his fulfilled duty, the Tsar proudly leaves.
The nobleman instantly straightened up and assumed a nobleman’s posture.

NOBLEGE. Voivode! Listen, Voivode, the Tsar’s decree!

Comes to the forefront.

They say, whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse herself, the king will marry her to him, and he will be registered in the palace. Got it?
VOIVODA. That's right!
NOBLEGE. Do it!
VOIVODA. Eat!
VELMOZHV (leaving the stage). Nurse!..
NURSE. Yes, killer whale?
NOBLEGE. Follow me!
NURSE. Seagull, sir?
NOBLEGE. Yes!
NURSE. With cucumber?

The nobleman and the mother leave.
The voivode looks around.

VOIVODA (yells). Army-oh-oh!

The faces of boys and girls poked their heads out from behind the scenes and immediately disappeared.

Army-o-o-o!

Same reaction.
Then the Voivode puts three fingers into a figurine and raises it up.

But who wants honey gingerbread?!

The people-army flies out from behind the scenes.

PEOPLE-ARMY. Me-e-e!

They see the cookie and freeze in bewilderment.

VOIVODA. Ate your gingerbread!

Form up! Be equal! Attention!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Cheated again?
VOIVODA. Not again, but again! Attention!

The army lines up. Freezes.

Listen to the army of the kings' decree!

Comes to the forefront.

They say, whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse, the Tsar will marry her, and whoever does not make her laugh and amuse -

Shows the army a huge fist.

they will prescribe it for him! Got it?
PEOPLE-ARMY. Hooray!
VOIVODA (gestures to the audience in the hall). Execute!

The army goes into the hall and tries to yell at the throat
consciousness of the audience.

PEOPLE-ARMY. Whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse him, the king will
will give her away in marriage!

Each of the troops repeats this phrase several times.
But, not seeing a response to the call to help, the army leaves the auditorium somewhere in the foyer: there to seek happiness.
Emelya appears loaded with buckets.

EMELYA (mumbling). “Go get some water, go get some water...”

Looks around.
Addresses the audience.

Where is your river? Do you have a river here?
Let's call the river...
At “three or four” we’ll shout together: “River!”

Screams along with the audience.

River-ah! River-ah!

Girls appear with long pieces of cloth in their hands.

Ooh! River! And they said that you don’t have a river!

The girls wave, as if shaking, pieces of material.

GUYS. Kwa-kwa-kwa!
GIRLS. Bul-tyh!
GUYS. Kwa-kwa-kwa!

And so several times - until Emelya gets water.

Emelya (taking water into buckets). Be quiet!

The “river” falls silent.

I'll sleep here...

He yawns and goes to bed.
“River” is also dozing.
And the sisters appear in the auditorium.

1ST SISTER. Pi-i-i-it!
2ND SISTER. Emelya, pee-and-it!
1ST SISTER. Pi-i-it! Emelya!
2ND SISTER. Water!

The sisters noticed each other.

1ST SISTER. Well, have you eaten some gingerbread?
2ND SISTER. Have you had enough jam?
1ST SISTER (with a challenge). I've bitten it!
2ND SISTER. And I got a lot!
1ST SISTER. And I bit into it!
2ND SISTER. And I got a lot!

It seems that they are about to “bite into” and “smash” each other
friend: with teeth and claws.
But thirst is stronger than enmity.
The sisters recoil from each other with heart-rending screams.

SISTERS. Pi-i-i-it!
1ST SISTER (to the audience). Guys, have you seen our Emelya?

The hall tells where Emelya is.

Look, he's sleeping!
2ND SISTER. He's sleeping again! Well, I'll tell him now!

From somewhere - from a secret pocket - he takes out a small, elegant slingshot.
Taking aim. Shoots.

Oop-p-pa-a-a-a!

Whistling.
From behind the scenes there is a cry: “Bang-bang!”
This flight of stone is voiced by the guys behind the scenes.
But the stone did not hit Emelya, but “River”.
“River” jumped up and started shouting at the sisters.

RIVER:
- Why are you rushing?
- Do you have a head or not?
- So you can kill!
- The whole river is clogged!
- Poachers!..

And other phrases can sound in approximately the same spirit.
And the sisters, in response, blame everything on themselves to the spectators sitting in the hall, they say, it’s all of them.
Finally, the sisters admitted to what they had done.

SISTERS. We won't do it again!
RIVER. That's the same!

He sits down to doze not far from the sleeping Emelya.

2ND SISTER. Cackle, belugas!
1ST SISTER. Well, you hit it, sniper!...Who shoots like that?
Here, learn while I'm alive!

He takes out a huge spear from a “secluded place” in the hall.

In! Slingshot!

Addresses one of the spectators.

Come on, eagle, hold the instrument!
Wow!
Oop-p-pa-a-a-a!

Whistle again.
Again: “Bang-bang.”
The “river” jumped up and began to gurgle.
Emelya jumped up and jumped straight into the “River”.
The sisters, seeing what they had done, quickly ran away. Emelya jumped out of the “River” with a “pike” in his hands.

EMELYA (yells). I'm drowning! Help!

He notices a pike.

ABOUT! Wow! Pike! Real! Foam rubber! I'll take the pike to my sisters. They will cook fish soup out of it! Wow, the ear will be sweet!

And behind Emelya, “River” was already lined up.
Peeking out from behind their clothes, the girls talk to Emelya
on behalf of the "pike".
Emelya himself looks only at the “pike”, as if she
talks to him.

PIKE-RIVER. Let me go, Emelyushka! I will make you happy!
EMELYA. How is this?
PIKE-RIVER. And so: just say the magic words...
"By pike command, according to my desire...” And any of your wishes will come true!..
EMELYA. What, someone will do everything for me?
PIKE-RIVER. Yes!
EMELYA. And go for water?
PIKE-RIVER. And go for water!
EMELYA. And chop wood?
PIKE-RIVER. And chop wood!
EMELYA. And wash the floors?
PIKE-RIVER. And wash the floors!
EMELYA. Are you lying?
PIKE-RIVER. Check it out!
EMELYA. And I'll check!
PIKE. Check, check!
EMEL. And I'll check! Come on... “At the behest of the pike, at my will...”

Why would you wish for something?

The children give hints.

Exactly! In! Let the buckets go home on their own!

Rhythmically magical music began to sound.
“River Pike” transforms into girls.
One girl takes the “pike” from Emelya, others roll up the “River”, and the two most lively come up and take the buckets.

GIRLS. Where to go?

Emelya watches in shock the movement of the matter, the pike and the bucket of water.

EMELYA (shows direction). There...

The girls, dancing, set off.
Emelya, stunned and delighted, follows the dancers
buckets.
And a roaring Nesmeyana jumps onto the stage.
Behind her, enraged by this roar, is Mom.
Nesmeyana is crying.

NURSE. Come on, chick!

Nesmeyana becomes quiet.

Or maybe you want to eat?
NOT LAUGHED. Want!
NURSE. Cook! Pova-a-ar!

The cook brings in the “dish”.

COOK. Baked pheasant stuffed with nuts! Delicacy!
NURSE. Baked pheasant! Stuffed with nuts! Share as is!
And eat, princess! Eat!
NOT LAUGHED. I don't want pheasant!
NURSE. Why?
NOT LAUGHED. I'm afraid of him. He bites!
NURSE. How can he bite when he's fried!?
NOT LAUGHED. I'm still afraid!

Nesmeyana begins to “pump up” into tears.
The mother makes a gesture - the cook runs away.

NURSE. Cook! Cook!

The Cook runs in with another “dish”.

COOK. Pies! With meat, rice, cabbage and jam!
NURSE. Princess, pies with meat, rice, cabbage and jam!
Eat!
NOT LAUGHED. I don’t want it with rice, meat or cabbage!
NURSE. What do you want with?
NESMEYANA (thinks nervously). I want... I want!...

With frogs!

The cook looks at Mom.

MUMMA (commanding gesture). With frogs!
COOK. I'm running to catch!

NURSE. Cook! Cook!

The Cook runs in with a tray.

COOK. Ice cream! White! Chocolate! Creamy! Ice cream! Eskimo!
NURSE. Princess, ice cream! White! Creamy! With chocolate! Eat!
NOT LAUGHED. I don't want white ice cream!
NURSE. Which one do you want?
NESMEYANA (with a challenge). Black!
NURSE. There is no such thing as black ice cream!

NURSE. And I say - it doesn’t happen!
NOT LAUGHED. And I say - it happens!

He begins to whine and sniffle.

NURSE. What is black ice cream made from?
NOT LAUGHED. From shoe polish!
MOMMA (puzzled). From shoe polish?

Orders.

The girl runs in with a box of shoe polish.

Shoe polish?
GIRL. Shoe polish, shoe polish!

Mom tries.
The servants cowered in fear beforehand.
Nesmeyana is “dragging.”

NURSE. Ugh! This is shoe polish-i-in! Water! Water!

The servants bring a bucket of water.
Mom drinks to the bottom.
He grabs Nesmeyana by the scruff of the neck.

Your shoe polish makes me sick!
NESMEYANA (breaks out). And I want your ice cream

He grabs the ice cream from the tray and dumps it down Mamka’s collar.

cold-ah-ah!
MOMMA (gets furious). It's cold, right?! Cold?!
NOT LAUGHED. Cold!
NURSE. And I'll steal you!

He grabs a scarf and covers Nesmeyana with the scarf.

NOT LAUGHED. And I'm hot!

Proudly takes off his scarf.

NURSE. And I'll blow on you!

It blows so much that Nesmeyanu is blown to the side.

NESMEYANA (jumps up). And I'm cold!
NURSE. And I'll steal you!

Covers Nesmeyana with a scarf.

NESMEYANA (throws off her scarf). And I'm hot!
NURSE. And I will blow!!!
NOT LAUGHED. And I'm cold!

Music bursts in.
On stage there is a kind of “duel-bullfight” between Mamka and Nesmeyana: who will win.
As a result, they both became weak.
The music stops.

MOMMA (falling to her knees). And I'm hot!
NESMEYANA (covers her with a scarf). And I'll cover you...
NURSE. And I'm cold...
NOT LAUGHED. And I'll blow on you...

Nesmeyana begins to whine.
Mom comes to her senses.

NURSE. From your tears, princess, streams and rivulets spill across the floor...

Nesmeyana is crying.
The mother rolls up her sleeves.

Let me put it under your right eye...

Nesmeyana is wary.

...a golden bucket! And under the left eye... a silver bucket! Buckets!

The girl brings in buckets.

Nesmeyana sits down near the buckets and cries very loudly in them. The Tsar, the Nobleman and the Voivode come running to the noise.

TSAR. Report, Mom, did the princess cry a lot of tears?
NURSE. The right bucket is exactly full, and the left one is only half full!
TSAR. Yeah! So, my daughter, you cry louder with your right eye,
than the left!
QUEEN. No! Same!
TSAR and REQUEST. Shibche!
NOT LAUGHED. Same-oh-oh!
TSAR and REQUEST. Shibche-ee!
NOT LAUGHED. Same-oh-oh!

Starts to roar.

TSAR and REQUEST. Tsuk-y-ts!

Nesmeyana falls silent.

TSAR. Maybe you want to eat?
NOT LAUGHED. Want!
TSAR and REQUEST. Cook! Cook!

The Cook runs in with the “dish”.

TSAR. So, what do we have?
COOK. Pies!
ALL (joyfully). With what?
COOK. With frogs!

Everyone: Nesmeyana, and Mother, and the Tsar and his retinue - scream in fear and run away in different directions.
“Vedra” comes out, followed by Emelya.
“Buckets” take center stage.

EMELYA (to the girls who brought the buckets). Free!

The girls leave.

But now I’ll sleep!

Goes to bed.
The Sisters appear.

SISTERS. Pi-i-it! Pi-i-it! Emelya? Pi-i-it!

They see buckets, rush to them and drink.

1ST SISTER (after getting drunk). Emelya, the floor needs to be washed!
2ND SISTER. And dig up the garden!
1ST SISTER. And milk the cow!
2ND SISTER. And cut some hay!
EMELYA. Did I bring you water?
SISTERS. Brought it.
EMELYA. Well, and “chore”!
SISTERS. What?
EMELYA. Enough!
2ND SISTER. How is that enough?!
1ST SISTER (makes a conspiratorial gesture to her sister). Emelya, but tomorrow
the brothers will return from the fair...
2ND SISTER (remembered). And they won’t bring you any gifts!
EMELYA. How come they won’t bring it?
SISTERS. But they won’t deliver it!
1ST SISTER. We need to wash the windows!
2ND SISTER. Sweep the floor!
1ST SISTER. Mow the hay!
2ND SISTER. Dig up the garden!
1ST SISTER. Milk the cow!
EMELYA. OK! “At the behest of the pike. According to my desire" - let the floor
he washes himself, the windows are cleaned, the cow is milked, the hay is cut, the garden is dug, the laundry is washed...

The sisters look at Emelya like she’s crazy.
But then “magic” music sounds and guys and girls appear, and let’s work to the music!
A sort of “dance-work”.
The sisters, of course, were stunned at first, and then they were delighted and let’s have their own - sisters - dances.
And the boys and girls did everything, they all danced and left. The sisters rushed to Emelya.

SISTERS. Emelya, do it for me!..

The Herald appeared.
The sisters, seeing him, hid, just in case.

CRIER. Whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse him is the king
will give her away in marriage! And whoever doesn’t make you laugh and amuse will be prescribed!

I noticed Emelya.
He walked up to him and barked into his sleeping ear.

Whoever makes Princess Nesmeyana laugh and amuse her, the Tsar-Father will marry her...
EMELYA (jumped up as if stung). What kind of scarecrow is this?
CRIER (looks around). Where is the scarecrow?
EMELYA. You're a scarecrow!
CRIER. Fool!
EMELYA (looks around). Where is the fool?
CRIER. You are a fool!
EMELYA. I'm not a fool! I'm Emelya!
CRIER. And I'm not a scarecrow! I am the royal herald! I am a royal decree to the masses
I'm bringing it!
EMELYA. So rush yourself to the masses!..

The Sisters ran up.
They fawn on Emelya and shoot their eyes at the Herald.

1ST SISTER. Emelya, but no firewood came from the forest...
EMELYA (to get rid of it). “At the behest of the pike, at my will” -
let the firewood come from the forest itself. Yes, hurry up.
CRIER. Ha ha! So they will come! They'll just come running! Wait!
SISTERS. Here we are waiting!
CRIER. Wait, wait!
SISTERS. And we are waiting!
1ST SISTER. Emelya, make me a dress so that everyone: “uh-oh-oh-oh!” and with
hat in the most fashionable fashion!
2ND SISTER. Emelya, I have ten of the same dresses and twenty hats,
and so that everything is both in the face and in the figure! And felt boots on bobbins!
1ST SISTER. Emelya, I have a hundred hats! And a thousand dresses! And let everything shine!
And they shimmered!
2ND SISTER. Emelya, and me too, so that everything overflows for me!..
And yet - a chest! Big and full to the top...
1st COPS. Bedbugs!.. Ha-ha-ha!
2ND SISTER. Should I get bedbugs? And you have an itch on your collar! Kilogram!
1ST SISTER. Do I have scabies? And you have three kilograms of runny nose!
2ND SISTER. And you have scabies!
1ST SISTER. And you have a runny nose!
EMELYA. “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - be it your way!

The sisters begin to sneeze and itch.
The herald kept laughing - he thought he was being played.
But then firewood came - guys and girls with firewood. The herald was clearly puzzled.

CRIER. A! ABOUT! Uh!

The firewood went into the barn.
The sisters ran away - somewhere.
Emelya went to bed.
The herald walked around Emelya like a dog around
your rug.

Listen, Emelya, how is it all working out for you?
EMELYA. What's all?
CRIER. Firewood from the forest, runny nose, scabies?..
EMELYA. Ahh... I know this magic word. Whatever I want, everything
will come true.
CRIER. Yes, you're the one lying!
EMELYA. I? I'm not lying!
CRIER. But I don't believe you!
EMELYA. Check it out!
CRIER. How?
EMELYA. Hotti!
CRIER. Want! What do you want?
EMELYA. Well, tell me, what do you want now?
CRIER. I want a lot of things!.. I want!.. No, not enough!.. I want!..
No, a lot!.. I want it! Oh! I want it, Emelya! Want!..
I want a girl from India to fly here now on an Eraplane and dance in front of us!..
And so that she could have it here!

Pokes a finger into his forehead.

But ours don’t have it!

Music.
A “eroplane” arrives: the guys crossed their arms, made wings - a girl from India, lying in their arms, spread her arms like wings, dangling her legs, smiling from ear to ear, a dot on her forehead - as ordered.
It flies like a swallow.
Arrived.
She jumped off the airplane.
And let's dance the Indian dance.
And the Herald also entered.
And he danced so much that he didn’t notice: and the girls
He is no longer from India and he dances with his sisters, who manage to sneeze and itch while they dance.
The Herald yelled in a bad voice and ran away. The sisters are behind him.
But the Little Herald is not a fool, he deceived his sisters and
jumped out from the other side of the stage.
And straight to Emelya.
He talks to Emelya, but he itches and sneezes without stopping.

CRIER. Apchhi!
It itches.

Emelya, you are exactly what I need! Apchhi!
EMELYA. Why else?
CRIER. Apchhi! (Itches). Haven't you heard the royal decree?
Who will make Princess Nesmeyana laugh?

If she scratches it, the king will give her in marriage. Apchhi!
EMELYA. There are no fools, scratching the king's daughters!
CRIER (gestures to the audience). The king orders - there will be fools!
EMELYA. But I don't feel like it.
CRIER. How is that?
EMELYA. And so! Reluctance and that's it!
CRIER. So you won't go? Apchhi!
EMELYA. I won't go!
CRIER. And then I will take you by force! Apchhi!
EMELYA. Try!
CRIER. And I'll try! Apchhi!

He gets into a karate pose, moves his arms and legs threateningly, and sniffles with his nose.

Apchhi! That is: “Ki-i-iya!”
EMELYA. “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - come on, club,
break off his sides.

Huge guys jump out with clubs in their hands and start bludgeoning the Herald.

CRIER. Save! Help! They are killing!

Runs away.
The batons are behind him.

EMELYA. No! You won't sleep here!

Leaves.
The Tsar appears.

TSAR. Voivode! Voivode!

The Voivode runs in.

VOIVODA. The name was Tsar-Father!
TSAR. Call your mom!
VOIVODA. Eat!

Nurse! Mommaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mom appears.
Nesmeyana trails behind her, holding onto Mom’s skirt.

MUM (to the Voivode). Called, killer whale?
VOIVODA (gesture towards the Tsar). The Tsar Father is calling!

The mother rushes to the Tsar and wants to pick him up.

NURSE. Father Tsar!
VOIVODA. Subordination of dishes!

The mother retreats to a respectful distance.

NURSE. Did you call, Father Tsar?
TSAR. Call the nobleman!
MOMKA, VOIVODA and INDEPENDENT. Nobleman! Nobleman!
Nobleman!

An evil nobleman bursts in.

NOBLEGE. Well, why are you upset?
MOM, VOIVODA, IS NOT LAUGHTER. The name is Father Tsar!

The nobleman tenderly bowed.

VELMOZHA. Was your name Tsar Father?
TSAR. Called! Was the decree announced?
GRANDMAN (to the Voivode), Has the decree been announced?
VOIVODA. That's right. Announced?
GRANDMAN (to the King). That's right! Announced!
TSAR. I suppose someone came?
NOBLEGE (to the Voivode). I suppose someone came?
VOIVODA (gesture: “Who knows?”). I guess he came...
GRANDMAN (to the King). Don't be afraid! He's here!
TSAR. Well, come on, call this Nebosya!
NOBLEGE (to the Voivode). Come on, call your Heaven!

Voivode, Mamka and Nesmeyana are somewhat puzzled - who should we call?

VOIVODA, MOMMA and NEMEYANA (shouting). I suppose! Sky-a-axis!
The sky-oh-oh-axis!

Some very dead, trembling little man appears with some kind of scroll in his hands.

Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid! Come here!

They take the peasant’s certificates and scare him.
The man runs away.
The retinue shouts joyfully.

The nobleman unfolds the list he brought.
Reading.

NOBLEGE. “Guest number one! A foreigner with a learned camel!”
ALL. With which camel?
NOBLEGE (reads it carefully). “B-bitch!”

Music.
“Haremyk girls” appear, i.e. from the harem.
Then the “Foreigner” himself - clearly from the East, and behind him the “Camel” with a rope on his leg.

FOREIGNER (after the “haremyk girls” dance). Gudimo-ning-trali-wali!
TSAR. What did he say?.. Which of you is trained in foreign languages?
NOBLEGE. Yes, I'm a little confused!
TSAR. Well? Come on, godfather! Mekai! What did he say there?
NOBLEGE. Oh, “hello”, I guess!

The Tsar and his retinue actively greet the Foreigner.

FOREIGNER (gesture to “camel”). Das ist is a learned camel!
CAMEL (yells like a donkey). Eeyore!
FOREIGNER (waves his hand to silence him). Ooh, Satan!
Their bin - drink-trawl-wali!
Ain, tsvay, drive, drool - high phase!
Here" Because!
TSAR. What is he saying?
NOBLEGE. He says that this is a learned camel! If you start it
three times, then he will spit five times!
KING (joyfully). Let him show! Please! Please!
FOREIGNER. OK! OK!

Arranges the entire retinue as if for a photo shoot. It reaches Mom. Stunned by its scale.

ABOUT! Kala-bank!
NURSE. What bank? What did he say?
NOBLEGE. Shocked by the grandeur and corpulence!
MUMMA (to a foreigner). Vulgar!
FOREIGNER (to Camel). Achtung!

Turns on the Camel.

Ain, tsai, dray!

He pulls the string on his leg.

The camel spits.
The Foreigner commands five times - once the camel spits.
Screaming, they fly off one by one: Tsar, Nobleman, Voivode.
Nesmeyana hides behind Mom's back.
And Mom takes the last two spits.
And then she spits herself - once, but in such a way that both the Foreigner and his camel were blown away.
The “harem girls” ran away on their own.

KING (after him). No camels allowed!

Nobleman.

Next!
NOBLEGE (reads the scroll). Guest number two. Mage, sorcerer, wizard,
extra... sense - Professor Spirkins!

Someone appears wearing white gloves and carrying a bag. Shows his hands to everyone: they say, everything is without deception - that’s how magicians do it.
Shows the bag: they say, here it is - empty.
He makes a magical movement with his hands - he puts the entire retinue, led by the Tsar and Nesmeyana, to sleep.
Robs them.
Puts everything stolen in a bag.
Shows the audience a full bag: this is the trick. He plans to steal from Nesmeyana.
Kisses her on the cheek.
And disappears.
Nesmeyana woke up.
He grabs the kissed cheek and starts screaming and crying.
Everyone woke up.
Assessment that they were robbed.

ALL. Stolen!
NOBLEGE. Quietly, quietly! I write down what happened, what was stolen.
TSAR. Write. Twenty-five crowns were stolen! Golden ones!
VOIVODA. Thirty gold and silver plated binoculars!
NURSE. And I have earrings! Wow! With the same chains and
brilliants! And such a ring! And a kilo of sweets!
ALL. Ooo!
NOBLEGE. And my entire treasury was stolen!
ALL. Salary!?
NOBLEGE. Alas!
NURSE. (Nesmeyans). What do you have?
NESMEYANA (shows cheek). Kissed!
ALL. Well, rejoice!
Tsar. No more psychics allowed in!

Nobleman.

Next!?
NOBLEGE. Guest number three! Prince from the Caucasus Mountains with his brother
from the Kuntsevo market!

Two horsemen appear.
They dance.
Nesmeyana is delighted.

PRINCE. Do you like me?
NOT LAUGHED. I like you!
PRINCE. Marrying me - will you be your eighth wife?
NOT LAUGHED. What kind of wife?
PRINCE. Well, the one after the seventh!
NOT LAUGHED. What else! Yes, I myself - just whistle, a hundred suitors come to me
they'll come running.
PRINCE. Come on, get over it!
NOT LAUGHED. And I'll whistle!
PRINCE. Well, get over it!

Nesmeyana tries to whistle, but it doesn’t work.

PRINCE. Ha ha! She whistled!
NESMEYANA (to the King). Dad, come on, whistle!
KING (to the nobleman). Come on, whistle for him!
Voevoda (voevode). Voivode, come on, whistle louder!
VOIVODA (to Mom). Mom, come on, whistle to him - for us, for all of us! For the Motherland!
MOMMA (rolls up her sleeves). I'll whistle now!
PRINCE. No! No, mom! We'll leave on our own!

Nesmeyane.

And I will kidnap you and torture you.

The mother raises her hands.
The horsemen are running away.
Mom is behind them.
And then he returns with the Prince’s dagger.

MOMMA (joyfully). In! She whistled!

Hands over the dagger to the Voivode.

Hold it, killer whale, otherwise yours has become dull a long time ago!
TSAR. Next!
NOBLEGE. Guest number four!..

The Herald runs into the hall.
He holds on to his sides. Yells good obscenities.

CRIER. Found it! Found it! Found the Tsar Father!
TSAR. My crown? Crown?
VOIVODA. Binoculars?
CRIER. Not really! I found the guy!
TSAR. What are you saying?!
CRIER. The guy lives in the village! Whatever you want - everything
will fulfill!
TSAR. Why didn't you bring him here?
CRIER. But he doesn't come!
VOIVODA. And you by force!
CRIER. I tried it! Whoa!

Shows bruises.

ALL (with great respect). Wow!
VOIVODA (proudly). Russian style, it's called!
MOMMA (to the King). Father Tsar! Have your say!
TSAR. Listen, Voivode, the Tsar’s decree!

Comes to the forefront.

Straighten your peaks! Sharpen your sabers! Load the guns!
Take the guy Emelya by storm! Got it?
VOIVODA. That's right!
TSAR. Do it!
VOIVODA. Eat!

Army-oh-oh! Army-oh-oh!

Behind the scenes - zero reaction.

But who wants honey gingerbread?!
NOT LAUGHED. Me-e!
MUM (pulling her back). Tsk, beggar! We have a whole bag at home
hidden!

The Voivode is already nervous: he feels uncomfortable in front of the Tsar.

But who wants a keg of bread kvass?
PEOPLE-ARMY. I-e-e-e!

Runs out.

VOIVODA. We drank your kvass! The new generation chooses Pepsi!
PEOPLE-ARMY (with disgust). Ugh!
VOIVODA. Form up!

The army is being built.
The governor comes to the fore.

So, army, listen, army, the king’s decree! Sharpen the peaks!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Sharpen the peaks!
VOIVODA. Load your sabers!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Load your sabers!
VOIVODA. Point your guns!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Point your guns!
VOIVODA. Take the guy Emelya by storm!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Hurray!
VOIVODA. On the horses!

The army-people pretend to jump on hot horses.

Follow me! To the village! March!

The governor and the army-people gallop away.
After them - in excitement - the Nurse jumps.

KING (Non-Smeyans). Well, now you'll laugh!
NOT LAUGHED. I won't laugh!
VOIVODA. You'll laugh!
NESMEYANA (crying). I won't laugh!
TSAR. You'll laugh like a sweetheart! Mom-ah-ah!

Mom rushes in and jumps off an imaginary horse.

Mom, come on from this flank. Nobleman, you are from here, and I am from here!

Nesmeyane.

Now we will catch you and punish you for disobedience!

Scene of catching Nesmeyana.
Several times the Tsar tries to seize the princess.
Every time she escapes.
And as a result, the Tsar, by chance, is captured by the Mother, and, confusing him with the princess, spanks the Tsar in his “soft royal place.”
Nesmeyana laughs.
The mother, tucking in her “soft spot,” runs away.
The Nobleman also runs away from harm's way.

TSAR (runs after Nesmeyanaya). Well, I'll show you now!

They run away.
Emelya comes out.

EMELYA. Well, this is where I’ll sleep!

He lies down and falls asleep.
The Voivode appears, behind him - like a caterpillar, holding on to each other - the army.

VOIVODA. Stop! Centipede! Halt!

The army-people scatter and begin to “rest” intensively.
The governor addresses the audience.

Where does your guy Emelya live?

The audience points to Emelya.

This one? Aren't you lying? Let's check it now!..

Hey man, wake up!
EMELYA. For what?
VOIVODA. Do you know where that guy Emelya lives?
EMELYA. Well, I'm Emelya!
VOIVODA (into the hall). Look, you didn't deceive me!..

Come on, man, get up!
EMELYA. Why?
VOIVODA. The Tsar Father ordered you to appear at the palace!
EMELYA. But I don't feel like it.
VOIVODA. What-oh?
EMELYA. Reluctance!
VOIVODA. And now the army will fight back this reluctance for you!.. The army!
Form up! Attention! Napra-nale-crutch on the shoulder! Running around...
EMELYA. Head on the wall!

The army, which carried out all the orders of the Voivode, by inertia also carried out the order of Emele.
And now he holds his foreheads.

VOIVODA. Leave it alone! Put up a crutch! Run away! Tighten up!
The right flank is on the left, the left flank is on the right - to storm Emelya!.. Hurray!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Hurray!
EMELYA. Stop!
PEOPLE-ARMY. For what?
EMELYA. “At the command of the pike, at my will,” go, army
home, and to the music!

“Gypsy girl” sounded.
And let the army dance! And so they left dancing.

No! You won't be able to sleep here either!

Emelya leaves.
The Tsar, the Nobleman and Nesmeyana appear.

KING (threateningly). You'll laugh!
NOT LAUGHED. No!
TSAR. Then we will execute your favorite bird!
NOBLEGE (in a scary voice). Execute the bird!
NOT LAUGHED. I won't laugh!
TSING and GRANDMAN (in scary voices). Then we will order
execute your favorite dog-oo-oo!
Execute the dog!
NOT LAUGHED. I won't laugh!
TSAR. Then we will order you to be executed!

Together with the Nobleman.

First we'll put you in the cold water!
NOBLEGE. In a ho-o-cold vo-o-ode!
TSAR. So-o-oh in a hot-o-o-ode!
VEOTMOZHA. Into the hot water!

Nesmeyana has been crying for a long time.

KING and GRANDMAN. Then we’ll tie it to the wheel and spin it,
twist, twist, twist!
NEMEYANA. Noooo

Roars.
And at this moment an army appears under the “gypsy girl”.
And he dances.
Nesmeyana stops crying and dances with the army.

TSAR (Army). Are you all dancing?
PEOPLE-ARMY. Let's dance!
TSAR. Now you will start singing with me!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Let's binge!
TSAR. Pala-a-ach!
PEOPLE-ARMY. Pala-a-ach!

To someone from the army.

Are you an executioner!?
EXECUTIONER. Oh, yes!
TSAR. Executioner?
EXECUTIONER. Executioner!
TSAR. Show me the document!
EXECUTIONER (remove your belt). Whoa!
TSAR. Good document. So, executioner, flog the army!
NOBLEGE. Whipping!
TSAR. Turn it inside out!
NOBLEGE. Turn it out!
TSAR. And flog you again!.. And don’t forget yourself!
EXECUTIONER. And I won’t offend myself!
TSAR. Execute!
VOIVODA. Troops, flogging with music - step by step!

"Gypsy girl."
And the people-army, dancing, leaves for flogging.
And on stage Nesmeyana dances and dances and
can't stop.
The Tsar and the Nobleman call Mother.
The mother rushes in, grabs Nesmeyana and takes her to a place where there is no music.

TsARB (Nobleman). So that's it. Listen, Nobleman, the king's decree.
Go to the village and bring the man Emelya! Alive! Got it?
NOBLEGE. But of course!
TSAR. Do it!

The king left.
And the nobleman sat down sadly.
And then Emelya appeared.
I looked around.
I noticed the motionless Nobleman.

EMELYA (gesture to the nobleman). Here is the fountain. I'll sleep here.

He lies down and falls asleep.
The Sisters appear. They sneeze and itch.

1ST SISTER. Are you still sneezing?
2ND SISTER. I'm sneezing! Are you still itching?
1ST SISTER. I'm itching!.. But I'll tell Emelya and he'll fuck you up
will turn!
2ND SISTER. In gugupotamma?! Who is this?
1ST SISTER. Behemoth, in Russian
2ND SISTER. Me in “hippopotamus in Russian”?! Yes, I will tell Emela, he is one of you
will make a bird! It's called a brain-biter!
1ST SISTER. Is this what makes me crazy? Yes I am!
2ND SISTER. And me!..
GRANDMAN (perked up at the name Emelya). Come on, be quiet! What kind of
Emelya? The same one?
SISTERS. The same one!
NOBLEGE. Where is he?
SISTERS. Yes, I've come home!
NOBLEGE. Oh, he landed!?

Swings at Emelya.
But the sisters are holding the Nobleman.

SISTERS. What are you doing? You can't do that with him!
NOBLEGE. How should it be done?
SISTERS. With affection!
1ST SISTER. Promise something...
NOBLEGE. What should I promise?
1ST SISTER. The dress there, with the neckline...
2ND SISTER. A fashionable hat!
NOBILE (to Emelya - very affectionately). Emelya, let's go to the palace
Make the little one laugh!
EMELYA. Reluctance!
NOBLEGE. And for you, Tsar-Father, a dress with a neckline...
EMELYA. What?
NOBLEGE. Oh! He will give you a velvet caftan!
EMELYA. Reluctance!
SISTERS. Shoes! Promise me shoes!
2ND SISTER. On the bobbin!
NOBLEGE. Emelya, let's go to the palace! Tsar Father shoes for you... then
He will give you some morocco boots. With golden spurs!
EMELYA (interested). Boots with spurs?.. Reluctance!
SISTERS. Promise him something sweet!
NOBLEGE. Emelya, let's go to the palace! The Tsar Father is your home from
will build gingerbread houses.
EMELYA. Gingerbread house?
NOBLEGE. Do-o-oh from gingerbread-o-ov! You will also have gingerbread cookies lying on the stove.
pick out the walls!
EMELYA. House! Gingerbread from the wall... pick it out... Reluctant!
SISTERS. Give me a stash!
VOIVODA. Will chewing gum work?
SISTERS. It'll do!
VOIVODA (waves chewing gum in front of Emelya’s face). Emelyushka!

Emelya sees the chewing gum and, like a goat after a carrot, follows it.
Stops. He's thinking about something.

EMELYA. Stove! Stove!
2ND SISTER. What is it about? What stove?
1ST SISTER. We've had an electric stove for a long time!
EMELYA. Stove-ah!

A guy appears.

BOY. I'm Pechka! Ivan Petrovich Pechka!
EMELYA (jumps on him, waves his hand towards the Nobleman). Let's go!

Both the Nobleman, who seduces Emelya with chewing gum, and Emelya, who does not take his eyes off the chewing gum, leave.

1ST SISTER. This Emelya is a fool, after all! May I have something so magical
word, I would... become a queen!
2ND SISTER. Are you a queen? All you have to do is sit on the potty and shout:
"Busy!"
1ST SISTER. What did you say? No, can you repeat what you said?
2ND SISTER. What I heard myself!

Runs away.
1st sister chases after her.
The Tsar comes out.
Behind him, like a “tail,” is Nesmeyana.
Nesmeyana imitates the Tsar in everything.

TSAR. Executioner!
NOT LAUGHED. Executioner!

The Executioner runs in.

TSAR. Executioner?
EXECUTIONER. Executioner!
TSAR. Flogged the army?
EXECUTIONER. Whipped.
TSAR. Have you forgotten yourself?
EXECUTIONER. And I didn’t offend myself!
TSAR. And now you will spank me!
NOT LAUGHTER (like a repeat). And now you will spank me! Oh! That is

Gesture towards the Tsar.

You'll flog him!
TSAR. For the fact that I have such a daughter growing up!
NOT LAUGHED. What kind of daughter is this?
TSAR. And here it is! Not a daughter, but a complete crybaby: a fountain of friendship among peoples.

Nesmeyana roars.

Whoa! That's what I'm saying! My daughter is “not a fountain”!

The executioner is just beginning to punish the Tsar when Emelya rides in on the Stove, and the Nobleman runs in front of him.
The executioner runs away.
Emelya dismounts. He grabs some gum.
The stove is resting.
Emelya goes to bed.

TSAR. Is this the same guy Emelya?
NOBLEGE. The same one, Father Tsar, truly the same one!
KING (Emele). Come on, man, make Nesmeyana laugh to me!
EMELYA. First of all, give me the promised morocco boots
with golden spurs, a velvet caftan and a palace made of gingerbread.
So that I could lie on the stove and pick gingerbread cookies out of the wall!
TSAR. Who promised you all this?
NOBLEGE. But he didn’t want to go for nothing!
TSAR. Are you a Nobleman or where? Are you on duty or what? Cook! Cook!
NOBLEGE. Why immediately “cook”!?

The Cook runs in.

TSAR. What do we have pies with?
COOK. With frogs!
TSAR. I order: feed the Nobleman pies with frogs!
NOBLEGE. For what?
TSAR. For not croaking too much!

The cook takes the nobleman away.

And you, Emelya, let’s make Nesmeyan laugh.
EMELYA. But I don’t feel like it!
TSAR. And I order!
EMELYA. But I still don’t feel like it!
NESMEYANA (who all this time looked with curiosity
Emelya). But he doesn’t know how!
TSAR. Yes! But you don’t know how!
EMELYA. I can!
THE KING AND THE UNSUFFECTED. You can't!
EMELYA. I can! “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - let him
Princess Nesmeyana...

Thinks slyly.

TSAR. Laughs!
EMELYA. Will fall in love with me!
NOT LAUGHED. I? In such and such?

I grabbed my heart.

Music.
Round dance of girls.
Nesmeyana's wig and crown are removed and a scarf is tied.
And Nesmeyana turns out to be a charming girl. The round dance leaves.

NESMEYANA (rush to Emelya). Emelyushka! Emelyushka!
EMELYA. What are you doing?

Let's get out of here! Looks like we went too far!

Nesmeyana is blocking Emelya’s path.
NOT LAUGHED. Emelyushka, take me with you! I'll... bake pies for you!
EMELYA. Pies? What about the pies?
NESMEYANA. With rice, with meat, with jam, with cabbage!
KING (prompts). With frogs!
NESMEYANA (repeats). With frogs!
EMELYA (scared). With frogs?! No! No need for frogs!
Stove, go!
NOT LAUGHED. Emelyushka, take me with you! I'll tell you fairy tales
tell!
EMELYA. Fairy tales? What are fairy tales about?
NOT LAUGHED. About three little pigs, about seven kids, about...
KING (prompts). About the Terminator!
NOT LAUGHED. About the Terminator!
EMELYA. Oh! No need to talk about the Terminator! Tired of it! Stove...
NOT LAUGHED. Emelyushka! I came up with an idea! You will sleep, and I will stay away from you
I will drive away the flies!
EMELYA. I like this!.. I agree! Well, come with me!
NOT LAUGHED. With you! Even to the ends of the earth! Only with you!
TSAR. Stop! How is it - let's go? What about me? What about me? Come on Emelya, do it
and for me something romantic-adventurous-exotic!
Respect wise old age!
EMELYA. “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - go ahead,
King, to the Trans-Bahama Islands... with someone!

Exotic music sounds.
Dancing palm trees appear, servants with fans and
Emelina's sisters, intensively “seducing” the Tsar.
The king does not know whether he should be delighted by this exoticism or flee from it.
The sisters drag the Tsar into the depths of the island.
The dancing palms disappear.

Emelya (Pechka). Mercy. Free.

The stove is leaving.

So, princess, I’ll sleep, and you drive the flies away from me.

Falls asleep.

NESMEYANA (having driven away the flies). Emelyushka, do you want to eat?
EMELYA. What do you care?
NOT LAUGHED. And I want to eat.
EMELYA. What do I care!?
NOT LAUGHED. And I will cry.
EMELYA. Well, cry.

Nesmeyana begins to cry.
This prevents Emelya from falling asleep.

Okay, okay.
“At the behest of the pike, at my will” - a cow appears, a cow
milk it!

A melody like “Moscow Evenings” sounds.
The Cow swims out.
Very similar to Mama.
The Cow has an udder made of an inflated rubber glove, and a bucket. The cow takes out a bag of milk from the bucket and hands it to Nesmeyana.
While Nesmeyana drinks milk, Cow addresses the audience.

COW. The Burenka company offers milk in which it drowns
"Milky way." Our phone number: 222-555-777 and two zeros!
Drink milk, children, what will you do? Right! Healthy!

Like cows!

He takes the milk carton from Nesmeyana and floats away to the music.
Nesmeyana again drives away the flies from Emelya. But not for long.

NOT LAUGHED. Emelyushka, are you bored?
EMELYA. What do you care?
NOT LAUGHED. And I'm bored!
EMELYA. What do I care?
NOT LAUGHED. And I will cry!
EMELYA. Come on, cry!

Nesmeyana is crying.

OK!
“At the behest of the pike, at my will” - let it be fun!

Loud music.
Guys and girls appear - all those who were at the very beginning of the performance.
They dance, sing, play, tumble.
Of course, there's no way to sleep here.

EMELYA. Quiet! “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - let
it will be boring!

All the people, yawning, sighing, sat down bored.

NESMEYANA (to the people). Guys, let's go for a walk?
PEOPLE. Reluctance!
NOT LAUGHED. Did you go to the dance?
PEOPLE. Reluctance!
NOT LAUGHED. How about swimming in the river?
RELUCTANCE. Reluctance!
NSMEYANA (pushes Emelya). Emelyushka, become handsome.
EMELYA. Reluctance.
NOT LAUGHED. And I will cry!

She sobbed loudly.

EMELYA. OK! “At the behest of the pike, at my will” - let me
I'll become handsome...
NEMEYANA (prompts). And a hard worker!
EMELYA (by inertia). And a hard worker. What?!?!?!

"Magic" music.
A round dance in which all the people stood up.
And when the round dance went in different directions - instead of Emelya stood the handsome Emelyan - in a shirt, boots, etc.
Nesmeyana rushed to Emelyan.
And he also rushed, but not to Nvsmeyana, but to a shovel, broom, bucket and other work equipment.

EMELYA (to all the dumbfounded people). Why are you standing?

Why are you sitting there? We need to work! Sweep the roads!
Level the mountains! Dig pits! Turn the tides
rivers! Sow everything and reap everything!

The people are going crazy with horror.

Cut down the forests for firewood! Burn wood for fuel!
Let's go pump oil! Coal digging! Let's build channels!
We'll set up the dams!

And Emelya carried and carried this!!!
1st buffoon (runs up to Emelya, points to the sky.

1st Buffoon. Look what a bird!
EMELYA. Where?

Immediately all the buffoons take away Emelya’s work tools.
And they lure Emelya into a dance.
While dancing, he finally notices Nesmeyana.
And, of course, there is a general cheerful dance around - around Nesmeyana and Emelya.

Svetlana Barmina

Fairy tale “At the command of the pike”

Target: introducing preschool children to Russian national culture.

Tasks: To develop students’ sustainable interest in theatrical and play activities, to improve the comprehensive development of children’s creative abilities through the means of theatrical art, to develop creative independence in creating an artistic image, using play, song, and dance improvisations.

The scenario was developed for children aged 5-7 years.

Characters: Emelya, Buffoons, Bridesmaids, Buckets, Jester, Tsar, Princess Nesmeyana, Eastern guest, oriental beauties, gypsies, peddlers, the role of Pike is voiced by an adult sitting behind a screen.

To the song “Fair” (performed by Lyudmila Nikolaeva and the Russian Soul ensemble), buffoons run into the hall, play the rattles, and stand at the curtain.

1 Buffoon. Hello dear guests,

Small and big!

We welcome everyone warmly

On the original Russian land!

2 Buffoon. Fairy tale, fairy tale, joke

It's not a joke to tell it,

So that by the end you are neither old nor small.

I didn't fall asleep because of it.

1 Buffoon. A fairy tale is interesting

She is a curiosity - we know.

A cheerful one awaits, without a doubt,

Tale - “At the command of the pike”

Buffoons together: We open the curtain,

Let's begin the fairy tale.

To the music, the buffoons open the curtain, the action begins on stage,

1 The daughter-in-law is rocking the baby to sleep, 2 The daughter-in-law is spinning yarn, Emelya is sleeping on the stove, and the adults behind the screen are singing “Oh, you canopy, my canopy” to Russian folk music.

1. An old man lived in a certain kingdom

And three sons with him.

Two are smart, but the third

Emeley was known as a fool.

2. Brothers are older at work

Always managed

But Emelyushka doesn’t want

Never leave the stove!

3. Here's one time to the market

We're going to take a trip

Well, two wives gathered

They started talking.

1 Daughter-in-law. Emelya!

2. Daughter-in-law. Emelya!

Emelya. (sighs) So?

1 Daughter-in-law. Are you sleeping?

Emelya. I'm sleeping.

2 Daughter-in-law. Get up.

Emelya. I won't.

1Daughter-in-law. How can you not? So you won't get up?

Emelya. (yawns) No.

2Daughter-in-law. Emelyushka, you should go get some water.

Emelya. Oh, no hunting.

1Daughter-in-law. Well, how is this not hunting?

Emelya. (yawns) Ah ha ha. (takes a balalaika, starts playing and sings)

Oh, you canopy, my canopy.

My new canopy.

2 Daughter-in-law. Yes, throw away your balalaika. Aren't you going?

Emelya. Nope (continues to play the balalaika)

New maple lattice canopy.

2 Daughter-in-law. Well, wait a minute, come back and take it from the market,

They won't bring you any gifts.

1Daughter-in-law. They won't bring it, they won't bring it.

Emelya. Won't they bring it?

1Daughter-in-law. We know they won't bring it

Emelya. Yes, you'll have to get up, but oh well. (gets off the stove)

Where's the fur coat?

1Daughter-in-law. We know where, in the hallway!

Emelya. Still in the canopy to go.

(leaves, sings) Oh, you canopy, my canopy,

My new canopy,

2Daughter-in-law. Oh, you, Emelya, have become completely lazy.

1Daughter-in-law. Oh, I got lazy, oh, I got lazy.

Emelya. Okay, I'll go now.

1Daughter-in-law. Don’t forget to take the bucket, Emelyushka.

2Daughter-in-law. Don't forget the crowbar, crowbar.

Emelya. I won’t forget, otherwise I’ll have to come again. Okay, I'm off.

(takes buckets)

Emelya. (sings): 1. Oh, you canopy, my canopy,

My new canopy.

The canopy is new, maple, lattice.

2. And she came out young,

Beyond the new gates

For new ones, maple ones, for lattice ones.

Emelya the doll: Well, here comes the river. Oh, how much work there is:

Cut through the ice and scoop up water with a bucket.

OK. There is nothing to do, let's start.

Emelya the doll knocks on the water with a crowbar (blue fabric, and the adults behind the screen create an imitation of the splash of water.

Emelya doll. Well, I cut it open, well, I scooped it up (with one bucket, here’s another (with a second bucket, (the splash of water continues behind the screen).

Well, it’s okay, the bridesmaids will wait a little,

And I’ll sit here, look at the water, and relax.

(there is another splash of water behind the screen).

Emelya-doll: Oh, oh, what is this, huh...

Pike in the ice hole, how big it is

Eh, come on, I’ll try my best to grab it,

Caught, caught! (the pike wriggles in his hands)

Where are you going, stop, the ear will be sweet.

Pike: Emelya, let me go into the water, I’ll be useful to you.

Emelya the doll: These are miracles, of course they will come in handy,

I’ll take it home and the bridesmaids will cook the fish soup.

Pike. Emelya, Emelya, let me go into the water,

I'll do whatever you want.

Emelya doll. Anything I want?

Pike. Yes. Tell me, what do you want most?

Emelya doll. What do I wish? I wish the buckets would go home on their own and the water would

They didn't spill.

Pike. Okay, mark my words. When you want something, tell me

only: at the behest of the pike, at my desire: step into the buckets yourself

(music sounds, bucket children come out from behind the screen)

Emelya doll. Oh, oh, look, the buckets themselves went, the pike didn’t deceive, well

(He lets go of the pike and comes out from behind the screen and goes home to the music to get the buckets. The “buckets” go one after another, enter the hut, and sit on the bench)

1 Daughter-in-law. (surprised) Ah, miracles, sister!

2 Daughter-in-law. We weren’t blind, we didn’t see anyone near the buckets, we walked on our own.

1Daughter-in-law. Yeah, yourself!

Emelya. Don't go blind, bridesmaids. This is how it will always be now.

(yawns) I'll rest.

(lays down on the stove and begins to snore)

1Daughter-in-law. He started snoring.

2 Daughter-in-law. He started snoring and couldn't sleep for long.

1 Daughter-in-law. Emelya.

2 Daughter-in-law. Emelya.

Emelya. Well! Emelya, yes Emelya!

2 Daughter-in-law. Well, Emelya, why are you still lying there, we don’t have any more firewood.

Go to the forest and chop some wood.

Emelya. Oh, what are you talking about, it seems like I don’t live alone in the house. Big brother's

wife, the middle brother has a wife, and everyone is Emelya, and Emelya.

1 Daughter-in-law. Is it really a woman’s business to go to the forest?

Emelya. Yes, I don't feel like it.

2 Daughter-in-law. Well, there won't be any gifts for you.

Emelya. Won't it?

Sings: Oh, you canopy, my canopy.

My new canopy.

He says: there’s nothing to be done.

Sings: I'll have to get off the stove,

Get dressed, get ready, oh!

Sits in the sleigh (sideways to the audience).

Emelya. Okay, that's it, sit down, let's get some rope.

(daughters-in-law give rope)

Well, woman, open the gate, I'm off.

(daughters-in-law laugh)

1 Daughter-in-law. Why are you, fool, sitting in the sleigh, and where is the horse?

Emelya. But I don't need a horse.

2 Daughter-in-law. Oh, he made me laugh, oh, he made me laugh. Well, they opened it.

1 Daughter-in-law. Well, go, why aren’t you going?

Emelya. But now I’ll go.

Take the sleigh into the forest yourself.

(music plays, the sleigh “rides” behind the screen).

Emelya. Eh, move aside. Brrrrr, we've arrived.

Emelya the doll appears on the screen.

Emelya doll. Oh, and there are many trees in the forest,

Well, okay, let's start.

At the behest of the pike, at my will,

Axe, chop some dry wood,

And you firewood, fall into the sleigh, and I’ll rest, eh.

(music sounds, behind the screen there is knocking on wood to the beat of the music)

Emelya doll. That's how it went

The ax cuts itself, stabs itself,

The firewood itself will lie in the sleigh.

Emelya the doll sings: She came out young, beyond the new gates,

For the new maple ones, for the lattice ones.

(knock on wood, logs of firewood fly into the sleigh from behind the screen)

Emelya (comes out from behind the screen and sits on the firewood)

Ready. Well, it's time to go back.

At the behest of the pike, at my will,

Drive the sleigh home yourself.

(Music sounds)

Emelya. Hey, hey, watch out!

(sleigh drives away, scenery changes)

Palace of the King, fanfare sounds. The Tsar and Princess are sitting on thrones. The Jester comes out.

Jester. Listen, people, an honest decree!

The king issued such an order!

Who makes the princess laugh better?

He will instantly receive half the kingdom!

Nesmeyana is crying.

Tsar. Well, well, Nesmeyanushka, don’t cry, well, do you want some ice cream?

Nesmeyana. Don't want! (crying)

Tsar. Well, do you want some cake?

Nesmeyana. Don't want! (crying)

Tsar. Well, tell me, what do you want?

Nesmeyana (sings). I don't want to talk!

I don't want to eat!

I'll whine all day long

Don't listen to anyone.

Tsar. Well, wait, wait, don’t cry.

My crown has already slipped to one side from your roar.

Nesmeyana. I will roar!

(singing) Why do I keep screaming?

What do you care?

I don't want anything

I'm tired of everything!

Tsar. Who will make the princess laugh?

Someone appears to be running.

Oriental music sounds, an oriental guest with oriental beauties runs out. The beauties place pillows on the floor for the guest, and he sits down.

Eastern guest. O maiden, incomparable beauty!

We are flying through the skies from the east to you.

"Dance of Eastern Beauties"

Nesmeyana. You're tired, I'm still bored, go away.

(guests from the East leave)

The music sounds and the bag comes in.

Tsar. What kind of miracle? Jump, yes jump!

A bag is coming to visit us!

Hey, grab him, catch him,

Hurry up and grab the bag!

The jester “catches” the bag.

Tsar. Jester! Untie it quickly!

Let's take a look at what lies there,

Maybe he'll make the princess laugh?

The jester opens the bag and gypsies “appear” from it.

"Dance of the Gypsies"

1 Gypsy. What kind of princess is this?

Does he look at all the guests angrily?

2 Gypsy. Will never smile

And he doesn’t laugh at all.

Give me a white pen soon,

We'll tell you your fortune soon!

Nesmeyana. I don’t want to, I won’t!

I always want to cry!

1 Gypsy. Then we'll lay out the cards,

And we’ll figure out what awaits you.

Oh, love is coming here

Country boy rushes.

Not on a black horse, as seeing

And sitting on the miracle stove!

2 Gypsy. Not rich, good looking

Handsome, dashing fellow.

You will see happiness

In general, live and live.

Nesmeyana. Go away, I don't believe it

I don't need a groom

I will always cry!

The gypsies leave.

Tsar. What to do? Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, I'm poor King Pea!

Music sounds, peddlers come out.

1 Peddler. Come on people, the peddler is coming!

2 Peddler. With different goods,

Red ribbons,

Funny toys

Wooden spoons.

1 Peddler. Well, take apart the musical goods!

Peddlers walk towards the audience, offering musical instruments.

1 Peddler. For Princess Nesmeyana

Let's play a funny song

A funny song.

The orchestra plays ditties.

1. Oh trouble, trouble, trouble

Quinoa in the garden.

I am Princess Nesmeyana,

I won't stop crying.

2. Oh trouble, trouble, trouble.

Quinoa in the garden.

I won't laugh for anything

I'll only get angrier.

The stove comes out to the music, with Emelya on it.

Tsar. Who are you?

So naughty?

Emelya. And I am your future son-in-law!

I came to receive half the kingdom!

Sings: 1. As if by order of a pike,

As I wish,

The stove is heated to perfection,

Have fun honest people.

Walks left, walks right,

The stove moves back and forth.

2. Look at the honest people,

The oven goes by itself,

And Emelya eats rolls on the stove.

3. The stove rides without wheels,

Yes, not as a joke, but seriously,

To the sovereign's palace,

And the king’s father is coming to meet.

4. (the Tsar sings) Help me out, Emelya, friend,

Look, look at the water all around,

From the princess's tears,

The flood has begun.

5. (Emelya sings) How I began to sing, dance,

Play the balalaika.

Instantly made the Princess laugh,

And he received half the kingdom.

Nesmeyana. Oh, like in Father’s kingdom

All the people went wild!

I was not laughing, but now it’s the other way around!

I'm going to dance with Emelyushka,

Yes, I’ll invite Father Tsar with me!

The music “Oh, you canopy” sounds

Performed by adults:

1. Here comes the glorious fun,

It unfolded in the palace.

Made the Princess laugh,

Our Emelyushka is at the end.

2. Received half the kingdom, glory,

And a beautiful wife.

The feast rightfully roared like a mountain,

We celebrated our wedding.

3. So the fairy tale is over,

And her end came.

And who listened and watched us,

He's certainly a great guy.

The curtain closes, the buffoon reads out the decree of the children executing

Characters:

1. Narrator.
2. Emelya.
3. Emelya's mother.
4. Pike.
5. Crowd of people.
6. Assistant to the Governor.
7. Governor.

Scene 1.

The curtain opens. On the stage there is a fragment of the decoration of a Russian hut, which includes a wooden window, a stove, a table, and chairs. Lies on the stove Emelya, his mother is preparing dinner on the table. Sitting at the table Narrator.

Narrator:

In one Russian village, the fool Emelya lived in a small hut with his parents. All day long he lay on the stove and did nothing. Emelya was supported by her old parents. One day they got tired of watching their son sleep all day long, and they decided to sometimes force him to do housework.

Emelya's mother:

Go, Emelya, to the river for water.

Emelya answers, lying on the stove:

Reluctance.

Emelya's mother:

You better go, otherwise your father will return from the market and won’t bring you gifts.

Emelya:

OK.

Emelya gets off the stove, puts on his shoes, gets dressed, finds an ax and buckets in the hut and goes to the river.

The scenery changes on stage. Instead of a fragment of the hut setting, scenery of a forest and river appears. Emelya He approaches the river and takes out an ax from his bosom. He cuts an ice hole in the river, then fills buckets with water. Having caught my breath, Emelya looks into the hole with all his eyes.

Emelya:

Oh, and wow, what a fat pike swims!

Emelya he contrived and grabbed the pike in his hand.

Suddenly pike says to Emelya in a human voice:

Emelya, let me go back into the water, and I will do whatever you want for you!

Emelya surprised:

Wow! Apparently, I spent a long time on the stove, since during this time the fish learned to speak!

Pike:

Yes, you are quite behind in development. Nowadays people don’t go to the river to fetch water.

Emelya:

Where do they get water then?

Pike:

From the water supply!

Emelya I was surprised again and scratched my head.

Pike:

Let me go, Emelya, with kindness and health, and in return I will fulfill your every desire!

Emelya:

Come on! And you can make the roads suitable for walking and driving, but while I was going to the river, I wore out my sandals.

Pike:

No, this is not my fins. Only the president can solve such a problem, and only if you manage to reach him on a direct line.

Emelya:

Oh, how!

Pike:

But the direct line with the president is still, oh, so far away, so hang in there, Emelya.

Emelya:

Yes.

Pike:

And if you want something else, less global, just say “By the command of the pike, according to my desire,” and all your wishes will come true.

Emelya:

Is this true?

Pike:

Is it true. I’m not Gazprom, which only makes promises.

Emelya:

Well, then, according to the pike’s command, according to my desire, let the buckets go home on their own!

As soon as Emelya he says this, the buckets begin to move. Emelya releases the pike into the hole and leaves the stage following the moving buckets. The curtain closes.

Scene 2.

The curtain opens. The stage features the same interior decorations of the hut. Lies on the stove Emelya. His mother is sweeping the floor with a broom.

Emelya's mother:

Emelya, wake up, we've run out of wood. We need to go to the forest to chop some wood.

Emelya, waking up and stretching:

Reluctance.

Emelya's mother:

Then don't expect gifts from your father!

Emelya reluctantly gets up from the stove, puts on his shoes, gets dressed, takes an ax and rope with him and goes out into the yard.

The scenery changes on stage. Instead of the previous interior decoration of the hut, its façade and a wide courtyard on which the sleigh stands appear on the stage.

Emelya approaches the sleigh, sits in it and says:

Today I won’t go anywhere on my own two feet: I’ll go on a sleigh. Yes, this is not an overseas transport, but a domestic one, horses are not released with it, but I don’t have much of a choice. Therefore, at the behest of the pike, at my will, take me, the sleigh, into the forest.

At this time, the scenery changes on stage, thereby creating the illusion of movement. Clouds, houses and trees fly around Emelya.

Enters the stage crowd of people and looks in surprise at the sleigh moving on its own. The people shout after them and wave their hands. At this moment the curtain closes.

Scene 3.

The curtain opens. The old decorations of the hut are installed on the stage. Snores on the stove Emelya. His mother is sitting at the table.

There is a knock. Mother gets up from the table, goes to open the door and leaves the stage. Emelya wakes up and gets off the stove. Enters the hut assistant to the regional governor.

Assistant to the Governor:

Are you Emelya the Fool?

Emelya:

Yes.

Assistant to the Governor:

You have been ordered to urgently report to the regional governor due to mass unrest caused by your sleigh.

Emelya:

What's so special about them? A sleigh is like a sleigh.

Assistant to the Governor:

The fact is that your sleigh travels on the roads on its own without horses, overcoming ruts, potholes, potholes and depressions without any problems. You don’t buy gasoline, don’t pay road tax, but drive for free without experiencing any difficulties or inconveniences.

Emelya:

Is this bad?

Assistant to the Governor:

The people of the region were ordered to hold out until everything comes together, pay taxes, of course, buy gasoline at ever-increasing prices, and if there are no funds, then weave new bast shoes so that they can move along the roads under their own power. And you ride around on a sleigh, causing chaos!

Emelya:

So I can ride the stove without any problems!

Assistant to the Governor turns his head in surprise and widens his eyes.

Emelya:

At the behest of the pike, at my desire, come on, bake, go visit the governor of the region!

There is a change of scenery on stage. In its center stands a luxurious desk, behind which sits governor areas. Next to the table there is a stove on which lies Emelya.

Governor gawks at the stove from which he is looking at him Emelya.

Governor:

What do you allow yourself?

Emelya:

Nothing. You invited me to your place.

Governor:

This is some kind of barbarity to the governor - on the stove!

Emelya:

Come on. I can tell you new way I demonstrate movement on our roads. In summer you can ride on a sleigh while it’s hot, and in winter you can ride on a stove when it’s cold.

Governor:

Is this really possible?

Emelya:

Well, we have to somehow hold out until the next direct line with the president! Maybe we’ll hold out until spring and call, maybe then something will change.

The curtain closes.