God forbid me from participating in election campaigns, especially on my own initiative and on a voluntary basis :). Therefore, everything that is written below has nothing to do with agitation and propaganda on the topic of the upcoming elections, but is only an observation related either to the field of psychology and sociology, or to political technologies.
We asked ourselves why the respected leader of the Communist Party of the Russian Federation Gennady Andreevich suddenly nominated a person with such an inappropriate biography and status as a presidential candidate from his party, directly at odds with the fundamental ideals of the builder of communism? Is it really possible that in the vast expanses of our homeland there was no one who would be more organic with his life history and position among masses corresponded to the image of a fighter for the interests of workers? Since we do not allow the idea that Gennady Andreevich is involved in some dubious and hidden from the people internal or external elite intrigues and agreements and, even more so, schemes for capitalizing political resources (we dismiss them as unworthy and obviously conspiratorial), the only thing that came to us in his head - this is that he unknowingly fell victim to the charm of the mustache. Perhaps this fatal moment is captured in the photo below.
A logical chain has been built. The mustache is the most striking feature of Comrade Stalin’s appearance; Stalin is the triumphant leader of the communists and the USSR, which won the Second World War. According to the evidence of the quite liberal Levada Center from February 2017, the popularity of the Generalissimo and Father of the Peoples in Russia of democratic choice has been growing rapidly in recent years and by this date had reached as much as 58%. And this is a real paradox: the popularity of a particular communist leader of the past is growing, but the popularity of a particular modern communist successor party is falling. What is the reason?
Apparently, the matter is in the images that dominate the subconscious of the population. Leader of the world proletariat V.I. Lenin, for example, in addition to direct agitation (impact on the rational), tried to inspire confidence in the proletariat, including by wearing a cap, a headdress characteristic of the working class at that time, which was a marker of “friend or foe” (appeal to the irrational) . The image of Stalin, the Father of Nations and owner of a characteristic mustache, is a kind of social imprint. It has long been noticed that many boys choose women who are somewhat reminiscent of their mothers, and girls give preference to men who are similar to their fathers, and often this concerns primarily their appearance; even old Freud drew attention to this. You are greeted by your clothes, as they say. A mustache as part of an image is associated with certain features of a familiar mustachioed personality and evokes the joy of recognition and corresponding expectations. The appearance of Gennady Andreevich himself gravitates more towards the types of late Soviet party functionaries from the times of stagnation and postscripts, when the heroic and epic in the image of a communist began to fade into the background, and the prevailing expression among leaders became an expression of decisive energetic concern, against the backdrop of which a large country was falling apart. It seems that today this is not an image from the past that we can rely on to make a leap into the future. At the symbol level, another link is needed. And therefore, in order to unite in the minds of the nostalgic people past victories with the current Communist Party of the Russian Federation, there was an urgent need for a leader with a mustache. Apparently, Gennady Andreevich, who cared about the needs of the party, workers, peasants and other working people, realized this suddenly and intuitively. And, one might say, almost on the eve of the elections, he took a little-known candidate who had materialized with the help of some mysterious consensus, who had not previously been a member of the party, the owner of a worthy mustache that inspired confidence in the future, and began to introduce, patronize and promote him in every possible way: so here he is, our new mustachioed hero, who will lead us to future victories and achievements!
I remembered two stories: Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol’s story “The Nose,” which tells about the importance of everything that is on a person’s face using the example of the story of a collegiate assessor, and an old joke with the following content:
Joseph Vissarionovich, on one of our state farms we discovered a man who looked exactly like you! And the mustache is the same, and the hair... What should we do with him?
Like what? Shoot!
Well, he doesn’t live alone, there is family, fellow villagers, and many witnesses.
So, shoot everyone!
But there is a whole area there, they won’t understand why the village was shot, and unrest will begin.
Then shoot the area.
Or maybe not shoot anyone, but just take him and shave him, give him a haircut?
And so it is possible!
Having received a hint from both the classics and the folk epic, we decided to rid our hero of the mustache using Photoshop. Realizing that such freedom can be regarded as a malicious desacralization of the image, we want to anticipate such a misinterpretation of our actions in advance. This act was dictated solely by the need for a scientific experiment in the field of social psychology. Who will the presidential candidate from the Communist Party of the Russian Federation be associated with now and what emotions and allusions will they evoke? Can a mustache influence electoral ratings? What feelings will a beardless candidate generate among competing parties and ideological opponents? Could the new mustacheless image bring him closer to the types characteristic of individuals belonging to other political movements?
“A mustache is a ticket to panties,” says popular wisdom. The presence of hair above the upper lip means that the person in front of you is a man, not a boy. We are talking about lush vegetation, and not about virgin, untouched by the blade of a cannon.
A mustache saves those who have ugly bald spots on their cheeks, like an Indian. They make you look like an adult, respected Azerbaijani, an enterprising millionaire collective farm chairman, a senior researcher, an 80s porn actor or a fashionable hipster. All the cool guys wore mustaches: Albert Einstein, Hulk Hogan, John Carpenter, Semyon Mikhailovich Budyonny, Soso Vissarovich and even Adolf... Haha, no, not the one you thought of, but Adolf Sachs, whose last name with the addition of the suffix “von” revealed is the name of a musical instrument.
Of course, the choice of mustache is entirely up to you. Their diversity causes envy even among bearded men. But before you choose your uniform, a little educational about what is a decent guy and what is not.
If you have thick dark hair, like the Cambodian jungle, then you will feel the greatest comfort with such shapes as “Pencil”, “Fu Manchu” and “Toothbrush”. Although no, forget it, Charlie Chaplin wore it, and in history there was another Austrian with a mustache like Chaplin.
Those with straight but thick hair should choose a wide mustache. As a rule, fine hair grows very quickly, but it is unlikely that you will be able to create the look of thick beauty like Nietzsche if your hair is very thin. Most likely, they will simply hang near the corners of the mouth, trying to get into the mouth.
Those lucky enough to have a wide mustache are strongly encouraged to wear the so-called "English mustache", "Walrus" and "Chevron" mustaches.
The shape of the beard plays an important role in choosing a mustache. Owners of the so-called “Triangle”, in order not to show their pointed chin in an unfavorable light, need a short mustache. "The Walrus" and "Fu Manchu" will turn you into a cartoon character with a mustache more face, “Pencil” is the ideal solution.
The oval face shape is considered universal, as almost all types of mustaches fit it.
Chubby men need a mustache that will visually make their face longer. Therefore, absolutely avoid thin mustaches, my round-headed friend. “Pencil”, “Chevron”, “Pyramid” will save you from aplomb.
For men with a square-shaped face, curly “Handlebars,” “Fu Manchu,” and “Pyramid” mustaches are suitable for smoothing out features. Even more hair curls on the face!
Well, now directly to the mustache itself. Choose a uniform, remember your idols, look in the mirror and put down the razor.
Chevron
No curls, no frills, just a wide, thick mustache covering his upper lip. For serious men, like Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin.
Fu Manchu
Fu Manchu is a literary character created by Sax Romer. The embodiment of evil with long thin mustaches drooping to the bottom. If you are not the lead singer of the group Dschinghis Khan, you are not planning to establish a Tatar-Mongol yoke in Rus', and you do not look like Shao Kahn, then it is not clear how, when and why you will wear them.
Horseshoe
A full mustache, equal in width, extends to the jaw line, resembling an inverted horseshoe. What distinguishes them from “Fu Manchu” is that their ends do not hang down, and the line itself is much wider than that of Asian mustaches. The area above the corners of the mouth is not shaved, so everything is close to the face. Bikers, Cossacks and Hulk Hogan love to wear this type of mustache. If any of the above is close to you, you know what to do.
Handlebar
From English their name translates as “Bicycle handlebar”. The famous curled mustache, which is especially popular among hairy young people. They can be either long or short - it all depends on the hair. The most important thing is to make the right curls at the ends. And here, as they say, wax comes to the rescue.
If you are a soldier from the First World War (which we very much doubt) or a fashionista who carefully looks after himself, then such a mustache will greatly decorate your fashionable face.
English mustache
A thick mustache starting at the middle of the upper lip and dashingly twisted at the ends into a thin, thin tube. Such a mustache lacks a top hat, a tailcoat and conversations in the style of “Three in a Boat, not counting the dog”, or investigations in the style of Hercule Poirot. Although the Kukryniksy loved to draw such mustaches on the bourgeoisie.
Dali
Show me an idiot who will wear the upturned, dashingly curled cockroach mustache of a great artist, and I will tell you his diagnosis.
Imperial mustache
A very bushy mustache grows not only on the upper lip, but also stretches upward along the cheeks, inextricably connecting through the sideburns with the rest of the hairline. For such a mustache, you need to be incredibly pathetic and self-sufficient, like the emperors of the Russian Empire and Austria-Hungary or the late Lemmy Kilmister, who gave this mustache a second life.
Pyramid
This is a triangular mustache, a bit like a chevron mustache, but more regular in shape, narrow near the nose and wide at the base. A classic and very comfortable mustache for all occasions. It is pointless to list their owners, because they are imprinted on the legendary faces of Ron Jeremy, the cowboy from the Village People, and even at one time Nicolas Cage. Perhaps your dad or grandpa wore them. They smell like the 70s, free morals and grains of cocaine tangled in their hair.
And if you grow your mustache stronger, paralleling the fluff under your lower lip, you can look like Frank Zappa.
Toothbrush
In the 20-30s, half of the men on planet Earth wore this particular mustache. For example, such legendary personalities as People's Commissar of Internal Affairs of the USSR Genrikh Yagoda and Marshal Blucher. Nowadays, to wear them, you need to have a lot of courage, because history remembers them on the upper lip not even of Charlie Chaplin, but of Adolf Hitler.
Hungarian
A thick mustache, combed from the center to the sides, tapers and ends at the level of the corners of the mouth or a little further. The level of their splendor, as a rule, depends on the laziness of their owner.
If you pay close attention to the name, it is not difficult to guess that the fashion for such a mustache originated in Hungary. Several centuries later, in the desert canyons of the Wild West, they gained a second youth, growing on the faces of bank employees, sheriffs and other evil spirits.
Walrus
Fluffy mustache hanging over the lips. Such a mustache often covers the mouth. If the prospect of constantly getting your mustache dirty in borscht and bearing the nickname “Mr. Tusk” doesn’t bother you, then please grow it. Console yourself with the thought that such a mustache was worn by Mark Twain and Friedrich Nietzsche, and you are one millimeter closer to their greatness.
Only there
A barely noticeable and short mustache, indistinguishable from ordinary stubble. The only difference is that their owners have abundant hair accumulation only above the upper lip and on the chin. Such people also do not like to shave every day.
Pencil
A small thin mustache, often shaved at the top or bottom. The main guide to their thickness was a pencil, which is how they got their name. In the 30s, 40s and 50s, they were incredibly popular thanks to Hollywood icons like Clark Gable, who became almost synonymous with the mustache. Nowadays, it is impossible to imagine the face of Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett without them.
Such a mustache, requiring daily care and attention, was worn by the most fashionable personalities of the time - mafiosi, thanks to which the image of an inveterate gangster of Italian origin is not complete without neat stripes above the upper lip. After all, Marlon Brando's Vito Corleone didn't escape the elegant hairs.
Cats are rightly called tabby-whiskered, although there are not so many tabby cats among them, but they are all whiskered. Horses, as it seemed to many, lack such facial hair. But no, that is, yes, but there are always exceptions. And they look simply impressive.
There is one problem with horse whiskers - they are like that gopher from the joke, they seem to be there, but no one sees them. Firstly, often their owners simply cut or shave them, just like the mane, pasterns and other parts of the body. Because it's not aesthetically pleasing. Secondly, not every horse’s hairs grow long enough to become whiskers.
It is best to look for mustachioed fillies among the Friesian breeds. Or heavy draft horses, gypsy horses and those adapted for the north. The colder it is, the more thick fur is needed, in all variations. However, a separate gene is responsible for the appearance of a mustache, and if it is not there, then nothing will grow, no matter how hard you try. But if there is, even a mare, not like a horse, can acquire mustaches.
They also say that the growth of mustaches is influenced by the level of testosterone, so sometimes they are not visible at all, and other times they grow so much that it is impossible not to notice. According to the general opinion, the whiskers, like the whiskers in cats, serve as an organ of touch - anatomically, the horse does not see what is directly in front of its muzzle, so it needs to somehow orient itself.
